“You slept with them and never called them back,” I tell him, without an ounce of humour in my voice. I can’t believe I need to explain this to him.
“Not them, the people who hacked the hotel’s security system?”
“Not sure. Jeeves dealt with it.” I wave a hand off hoping to move on from this and back to the ongoing problem of his whorish ways. Charles doesn’t promise these women the world, but his charm and seduction techniques leave a lasting impression. When the activities aren’t as lasting, people tend to feel a little hurt, justifiably. So they find new jobs where they won’t have to see his face ever again.
One of these days, he’s going to come across a woman immune to his charms and rejection will hit him like a brick to the face.
“And you didn’t ask …” Charles is still going on about Jeeves’s extra-curricular activities.
“No, I find it’s best not to.” Jeeves keeps things on this side of the law, but he has a habit of taking justice into his own grey area of morality. “Jeeves knows where the line is.”
“Does he?”
I ignore the question. I trust that man with me and mine. And that still includes Reilly, and always will.
“You’re going to love her forever, Elton,” Charles says, out of nowhere.
I sit up and straighten my cufflinks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He laughs. “Come on, man. You love her. This is ridiculous. You’re being ridiculous.”
I tap away at my computer; how long an email can I pretend to write before he gets the message.
He sighs. “You planning on being alone forever? She won’t wait for you. A woman like Reilly will take on the world and it will be a lucky man who gets to stand by her side while she does it.” A deep ache pulses in my chest and a burning sensation starts to fester.
“Mmm poetic,” I deflect.
“She got her bakery,” Charles tells me, swiping his thumb across his mouth. Happiness erupts inside me and I grab my phone to call her. But I don’t have that right anymore. I gave that up.
“How do you know that?” I ask as I slide my phone through my fingers, unwilling to let go of the opportunity to call her.
“She’s not mad at me.” He smirks. I practically growl at him, jealousy raging inside me knowing he’s spoken to Reilly. “Whatever, mate. Don’t lose her while you sort your shit out. You’ll come out the other side full of nothing but regret.”
I’m already full of regret, but I can’t work out how to give Reilly everything she deserves while still being who I have to be for the family
THIRTY-ONE
Reilly
When I was a child, I spent countless hours searching for the end of the rainbow. I wanted that pot of gold. It would make all my troubles go away. I would dream of spending it on a big house with a swimming pool and a slide that went directly from my bedroom into the garden. As I grew older, I dreamed of spending my pot of gold on tickets to see the Backstreet Boys, and my dream house also included my own personal McDonalds, like inRichie Rich. As an adult, that magic pot of gold would buy Mum’s retirement and set myself up for the rest of my life.
Now, here I stand in my own pot of gold.Reilly’s Bakes. As I paint the rainbow on the back wall, behind the counter ofmybakery, I can feel life finally settling into place. Everything I have worked towards, every burned cake and ruined pastry tart. Every late night perfecting my craft, between business studies at university and evening baking courses,and scraping every extra penny I could earn. I built my own rainbow to my pot of gold, but it wasn’t a perfect arch in the sky. It’s been a long climb of dips and dives along the way. But every time, I clawed my way back.
“Sweetie, this is amazing. I am thrilled for you. You deserve all of this!” Mum gushes as she squeezes me tightly in a hug.
I am proud of myself. I truly am. I’m not so humble to admit it. I have worked for this and owe everything I have achieved to myself. My hard work, my time, my effort. And the unwavering support of my friends and family. Who all insisted on spending their weekend painting with me. Sarah cracks the wine open, but I refuse to partake until I’ve at least perfected the niggly bits. Behind the counter, I have painted a huge rainbow that starts at the top left-hand corner and extends all the way across, ending at the other end of the wall, directly in front of my cupcake display. The counter will be adorned in simmering gold and will hold my weekly cupcake special.
Dorothy is on her third glass of wine and sitting on a chair in the corner with Chip on her lap. She’s done next to no painting but did bring snacks, so she has been graciously forgiven.
“And not a man in sight. Perfection.” Dorothy gets slightly posh when she is drunk, but considering she was born and bred here in Bournemouth, she manages to hide her South West accent. “You girls have it made these days! So much potential and freedom. I love it! Hold on to your choices, ladies. It’s the most important power you own. No one, especially not men, should be able to tell you how to rule your time.” Sarah cheers her glass, and Thea laughs with us all. “Your dear mother raised you alone, with my expert help, obviously. She put everything into you, and that was her choice to do so. She could have thrown that bastard father of yours under the bus and demandthat he be involved, but she chose freedom. Freedom to raise you as she saw fit. And what a mighty fine job she did.”
“Hear hear,” Mum agrees and they clink their glasses.
“You will find love one day, my darling. A love like I had with Trevor. But the fact that you girls put yourselves first before a love life. Well, it fills the feminist in me with sparkles.” Dorothy’s first husband, Trevor, died when her boys were young, and she caught her second husband cheating on her with their neighbour. She threw his arse out and has sworn off men since.
She hiccups as she tops her glass up. It might be time to cut Dorothy off. Mum agrees as she scoops her up and kisses me gently on the cheek. She waves at Thea and Sarah, and they saunter off down the road to go home.
I thought I had found a great love. Yes, I had fallen in love with Elton. And he shattered me. But I refuse to be held back by the foolishness of that man. Do I feel lonely and let down? Yes. Do I feel unwanted and unworthy? Absolutely. But I will not allow those feelings to rule me. I will not let a man determine my self-worth. These negative feelings are strong and keep trying to break through, but I am stronger, and I will fight them. My subconscious is trying to drag me back to the dark place where my worth is established by outside forces instead of who I am deep down as a person.
