But there’s a pang of disappointment that comes with it. There’s no Elton. If his plan is for me to crave his presence, it’s working.
I want him here, cuddled next to me. Laughing with me. Just being near me. I want him. All of him.
How do I ask him to leave me alone when really I want him to stay?
“I can’t forgive him though, it’s not right?” I say, flipping the lip closed on the box.
“Says who?” Sarah asks, reopening the hamper and unloading its contents.
That makes me jolt. Shit, is she right?
“But I shouldn’t forgive him, should I? He shut me out, the minute things got hard he ran away.”
“I’m just saying he made a stupid decision in a traumatic situation. Yes, he shut you out, but now you’re shutting him out without giving him the space to explain himself.” I wouldn’t expect Sarah to be fighting for me and Elton, it would be more Thea’s stance on things. “Look, in the beginning I was all for ‘fuck off, Elton’. I hated seeing you hurt. But let’s be honest, I’m quick to anger. Thinking about what happened and when I think back on you together …” She looks away and shakes her head, as if she can’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. “You had something real. Not many people can say that. You’ve both reacted badly to things. You’re letting old wounds cloud your judgement.”
Thea nods sympathetically at me in agreement. “Don’t think about what you should do. What do you want to do?”
What I want to do is go back in time and not let things get so messy.
I hate not making the right decision. I’ve let myself be swayed easily in the past, and now I’m second-guessing myself.
But my friends are right: I shut down as quickly as he did. My anger at him ran full pelt through me, but now that anger is receding, maybe it’s time to listen.
Elton
A smile crosses my face as I get the notification that my package has been delivered. I wish I had been there.
Jeeves clears his throat to bring me out of my thoughts. “We’ve still got eyes on the ex. He’s stayed away and seems tobe keeping to himself. There’s no evidence he was involved in the attack on Neive. Despite the timing being suspicious, there is no connection.”
I nod. This is good news. I wanted to hunt him down and teach him a lesson in respect. But Reilly would find out, and she’s a softy at heart. She told me to leave him, so I did. Hopefully, another point to prove how serious I am about giving her what she wants and needs. It’s a complete coincidence that his latest company investment crashed hard when the company was bought out from underneath him. So he’s rather busy salvaging that at the moment. Which doesn’t mean he’ll leave my radar. He’ll stay away, and if he doesn’t, then my team will focus on Reilly’s needs, whether she knows about it or not.
Two days until the bakery opens. Two more days to implant myself in Reilly’s brain before I make my move to remind her we belong together.
I wait for the thank you text from Reilly. The only communication we have at the moment.
Every gift has been thoroughly thought out. My desire to shower her with everything I could possibly throw her way is strong. But I’m taking her mum’s advice and making a big impact with small gestures. I pray it’s working. I need it to work. So many aspects of my life have fallen into place except one. And none of it is worth it if I don’t have Reilly.
My phone vibrates on the table, and although it’s not Reilly, my chest lightens at Neive’s face, which pops up on the screen.
“Good evening, Neive. You’re up late.”
“Uncle Elton, I’ve finished unpacking and wanted to show you my completed colour-coded wardrobe.”
These daily video calls from Neive have been a godsend since she moved out and into her apartment with her mum. I set them up in a three-bed penthouse overlooking the sea. Ithas a huge wrap-around balcony and enough space for them both to have their alone time. The family therapy continues, and their relationship is looking on the up. I’ll step in the minute it’s required, but I’m giving them the space to reframe themselves as they need.
It’s only a few streets along, but I miss having her around. The house is quiet. Claire is getting antsy with the lightened workload. She hovers about, mothering over me and moaning about the lack of family in the home. One day, Reilly and I will fill the house with kids to keep her busy. But for now, she’ll have to make do with just me. And Jeeves’s prolonged visits; he’s hanging around a bit more. He thinks I’m lonely. I am. I need Reilly back.
“Come over tomorrow, kid. I want to give Reilly a special surprise, and I need your help.”
“Oh my god. Yes. I am there. Are you back together yet? You apologised, right?”
“Yes, I …” Wait, did I?
“Uncle Elton, you apologised to Reilly, right?” Neive asks slowly, like I need it spelling out for me. Because I apparently fucking do. I’ve told her I miss her, I’ve sent her gifts, but I haven’t actually said the words. She doesn’t actually know how sorry I am.
THIRTY-FOUR
Reilly
