I tried my best not to look at her chest or the sexy curve of her waist. This woman screamed sensuality and womanhood and flirtatiousness.
Ruby clinked her glass to mine. “Congratulations. You must be so proud.” She found Lily in the crowd and nodded towards her, then back at me. “You know you two make a beautiful couple.”
“Thanks.”
“Seriously,” she continued. She became sincere. “I’m beyond delighted for you both. I can already tell that you make each other happy.”
I looked at her and detected only genuine happiness. Lily was right. She did have a good heart.
“Do you know that your story is going to blow up the internet?”
“What?”
“There is going to be a lot of media interest in you both. I was just wondering if you are prepared for it.”
“How much interest?”
“Suffice to say, now that Lily has won this award, it’s going to be even more. It was already going to be a lot after you both show up here looking like this. You were already going to start getting calls, emails, messages, people photographing you in the street and recognising you, but now, I suspect you’re going to go viral. You may get invites for high-profile interviews and appearances. Did Lily not warn you of any of this?”
My face must have showed I wasn’t prepared for any of that. All my fears hit me in the gut at once. Everything I’d been running from since the band was now going to be my reality again. “She didn’t really mention.”
“Lily’s probably just sheltering you from it. I’m sure you’ll be fine, but I can help you both navigate this torrentcoming your way, if you like? If you need anything, just call me.” She slipped me her business card with short, perfectly manicured red nails.
After she was gone I was left in a silent panic. This was not the place to freak out or make a scene. I put my glass down and considered my next move. I didn’t know where Lily was as I couldn’t see her through the crowd anymore. The exit was just there, through the corridor and the press circus. My chest felt tight. Every cell in my body was screaming at me to get the hell out of here, to retreat to my flat and my safe space, and to put the brakes on whatever this press and media whirlwind thing was about to happen.
But I didn’t want to make a scene and leave Lily in a compromising position. She deserved more from me than that.
So I stood, on my own, panic rising about how fast things were going and the impending exposure we were about to get. It was like Ruby fromSapphichad dropped a bomb inside our relationship. But it wasn’t her fault. This was inevitable in some ways. How could I think that being with Lily would not have come with some level of attention that I didn’t want?
Maybe the only way to escape the attention would be to end things with Lily. But the thought of not being with her was too much to bear. We were in love. I needed her. I didn’t want to be apart from her, ever.
I would have to endure the very thing I feared the most and hope that in time, interest in our relationship would wane and fade, and we could be left to live a long and happy life together.
The crowd parted and Lily became visible. She was talking to people, laughing and smiling. She looked over at me, and we gazed into each other’s eyes for a few seconds.My whole body softened. I think I smiled. She smiled wider, her eyes sparkling and bright. This was her best smile. Her most genuine and uncontainable one, and it was being directed at me.
Yep, Lily Sharpe was worth all the discomfort in the world if it meant seeing her smile like that.
~ 18 ~
Lily
Rona was wrapped around me on the bed. We’d been tossing and turning all night, both unable to sleep very well. It wasn’t until after we’d had impromptu hot and sweaty sex in the middle of the night that we finally got to sleep. Being in a couple again was the strangest feeling. I’d got so used to being on my own. I’d forgotten how much time was spent with the person and how little time and space I would get to myself.
We’d been wintering together and getting all cosied up at each other’s houses. I loved cooking for Rona, and she couldn’t get enough of my paella, in particular. Our first Christmas together was magical. We learned more about each other’s families, although we didn’t introduce each other to them yet. But we’d discussed doing it soon. We spent more time with Nikki and Sophie, who now loved Rona nearly as much as I did. Rona was the sweetest, most generous person I’d ever met. We even had new shared rituals like having pancakes for breakfast on Sunday mornings. She was the first person I wanted to share things with and she occupied my mind the great majority of the time. Rona was amazing and I was in love with her, but there was a little sadness in me at the freedom I’d lost. Most of the time, I was just happy to be with her, but that sliver of doubt at what I’d given up was annoyingly still there, and it kept me up at night sometimes.
“I’ve got to go,” I whispered, and kissed Rona’s cheek, once, before unlocking myself from her limbs. I pushed myself up and got off the bed, not rested.
“No,” she murmured, half-asleep. “Come back. It’s Sunday.”
“I know.” I slipped off my shorts and top and wrapped a towel around my body, tying it at my chest. “I’m sorry, but I have to get up.”
Rona looked away and frowned.
I’d accepted a last-minute guest to interview for my new podcast, Life’s Greatest Lessons. Since I won the Ballon d’Or towards the end of last year and my appearance on Daniel Greenwood’s podcast aired, I’d moved forward with my idea to start a podcast, and I was so glad I did. Both had gained me traction, and I was working hard to build on it with my podcast idea. Along with getting into a routine commentating on matches with the BBC every other week and even some England matches, I’d set up a studio in my spare bedroom downstairs, complete with backdrop and professional lighting and equipment.
I’d taken on an assistant. Freya, a recent graduate, handled the technical side of things and most of my bookings. I’d thrown myself into my podcast and had reached out to many of my contacts to be a guest on my show. I couldn’t believe how many people were willing to speak with me and share their stories. It was all so new, and I was thrilled with the challenge. The podcast had started strong, rising in the charts and getting positive early feedback. The turning point came when I interviewed the England manager about her life. Downloads and views had skyrocketed. To say I was grateful she’d spoken to me about such personal things and given her time up to be on my new podcast, would be a considerable understatement.
David’s prediction for my future career prospects, all the way back when I did my first commentating stint, was being left for dust. He was wrong about me. I was finding new ways to feel useful and inspired.
