“This really is the best news. So, your treatment should be starting soon?”
“As soon as we get a spot. They have a waiting list for treatment. They are extremely busy. I hope it won’t be too long.”
“They better get a fucking move on, to be honest. Everything’s going great except how slow the clinic is. They’re doing their best but fuck me, it’s all just so slow,” Vicky added.
Mathilde took a hesitant breath. “Kaira and Bouchra know. We’ve been hanging out a lot lately. By the way, did you hear that Kaira quit her job? She finally had enough of her boss. She got offered another job right away and now she’s much happier.”
“That’s brilliant news. No, I hadn’t heard.” I’d been so preoccupied with Lily, that I’d been drifting apart from my friends. The thought saddened me. I did the same with my last relationship but not quite to this extent. With Lily, it was like I’d disappeared into this magical but separate world.
Vicky and Mathilde sat across from me, holding hands, looking forward to taking the next step in their lives. I loved how happy they were together. They were very different,but you knew they were solid. “I’ll have my fingers crossed that you get a date soon for your treatment to begin.”
“So you’ve been spending a lot of time with Lily?” Vicky asked. She took a drink of her beer, watching me over the glass.
“We’re rarely not together, except for work. I stay over at hers most nights. Actually, every night lately. I have a key. Her podcast is going well. She’s been busy with that. She’s amazing. I’m so happy I got to meet her in Greece. I think I was ready for it, you know. Like, if we’d met any sooner, I don’t think I would have been open to an actual relationship with her. I was with Becca obviously or I was recovering from the breakup. Or maybe I would still have felt this way about her. I don’t know.”
“It was fate,” Mathilde said. “The Greek gods conspired to bring you together.”
“I should thank them!”
“So you’ve moved into Lily’s place? Is that like official? You have a key?” Vicky asked.
“Not really. After all the media attention, it just sort of happened that way. It made more sense for Lily not to have to go back and forth to hers and mine all the time, because she had photographers following her. It’s easier if I’m at hers.”
“Does that work for you?”
“I mean, yeah. I get to see her all the time.”
“Hmmm,” Vicky made a noise.
“The early days are so full of uncertainty, aren’t they?” Mathilde said.
I didn’t know what she meant by that. Lily and I were in love. The past eight or so months had been some of the best in my entire life.
Vicky spoke, softly. “Have you and Nell done any more gigs? Actually, I haven’t seen or heard from Nell in a while. Is she okay?”
“She’s great. She’s in a new relationship too. We haven’t done any gigs.”
“It’s good there’s a reason you guys are MIA. It’s better than you guys ghosting us!”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been as available recently. I really am.”
“Honestly, don’t worry about it, Rona. We know you’re busy right now. I just hope you and Nell don’t stop doing your gigs entirely though. You both seem to really enjoy it.”
It was a good point. We’d built momentum with the live DJ sets, and I didn’t want to lose that. But we were. We’d turned down two invitations this past week alone.
“How is your work going, Rona?” Mathilde asked.
“Not great, to be honest. My artists are doing well but I’m losing interest.”
“You’re a genius. But surely this cannot be expected of you all year round.” Mathilde’s brow furrowed, causing a deep line in between her eyes.
Vicky leaned forward over the wonky table in between us and looked me right in the eyes. “So to recap, work’s not going great and you’ve stopped doing all the things you used to do, things you love, like making music and hanging out with your friends. You’re spending all your time with Lily and have unofficially moved into her flat, and you haven’t really discussed it. Is that correct?”
She was correct. Her pointing it out so plainly made me pause. It didn’t look so good when she put it so candidly like this. But surely it wasn’t as bad as it sounded, right? I was just preoccupied with Lily, that was all. She was my new girlfriend and I was in love. Okay I was obsessed with herbut what was wrong with that? My neurodivergent brain was always going to do what it does in times of pure chemical connection. I was powerless to fight it, really.
“Rona, can I tell you something, but you have to know it comes from love and I’m only looking out for you and wanting what’s best for you?”
“Don’t tell me it isn’t working. Apart from all the things you said, I’ve never been happier.” They didn’t need to know that I sometimes freaked out about how much I loved and needed Lily, and that the whirlwind romance felt like it was winding down, or up, into something more real. Our infatuation phase was coming to an end, and it scared me.
