“Do you ever think about revealing who she is? Whoyouare?”
She smiles as if this is a thought she has had many times before. “All the time, actually. I’ve started writing it a million different times, in a million different ways. I can never find the right words to tell the story of it all.”
“All?”
“The movement. The progress. Where we started, why we did it, everything. But to publish it, we have to achieve something greater first. A real equality. Something tangible, legal, and permanent. Something that can’t be taken away from us. Until then, Alice Carney has to remain a mystery. She still has a job to do. Her work is not complete. She still needs to inspire and unite women to believe their voices are louder as one.”
“Well, I, for one, can’t wait to read this one day when it happens.” I lean in closer to her. “And it will happen, Violet.” I try to sound confident to encourage her, though I know it truly will happen. I know the progress that will be made towards equality, in her lifetime and within mine. Violet speaks with such passion and conviction that I’d be proud to be in the trenches with her, arms-linked and fighting for equality.
“I hope you are right. I’ve only ever written one chapter, and it’s not even really a chapter. It’s more so a collection of thoughts that need to be stitched together coherently. It’s hidden away, though. I suppose I’ll pull it out again one day when we’re ready.”
“It’s hidden?”
She winks at me. “Under a floorboard in my closet. For safekeeping.”
Holy shit. The loose floorboard in my closet. Are you telling me this monumental piece of history and potentially the key to understanding who I am, has been literally under my feet for years? You’ve gotta be kidding me. “Though I suppose the important thing isn’t to tell the world that I am Alice Carney, it’s to show women that weallare.”
She motions toward some of the other first-class passengers mingling around us. “Most of society is so preoccupied with building their empires, ensuring their names are carved into stone or printed to paper. They believe that’s their legacy.” She shakes her head. “My children. And my children’s children. They are my legacy. I want more for them, for all of them. Even if I never get to see it, I want it. Even if nothing ever changes, I still have to try. I have to keep knocking on the door of change.”
”Don’t just knock on the door, Violet.” I say with a smile. “Bang it down.”
Little does she know that not only will things change, but she will live to see it. In less than a decade, Violet and her daughters will win their right to vote. Not only that, but she will grow old and be able to watch them carry on with her work. Her loud and fearless Diana will become an actress and will use both her platform and her wealth to care for impoverished women and children. Evelyn, her quiet and thoughtful child, will find her voice in calls for equality. As Violet said, the right to vote is only the beginning. Evelyn will be among the first women that enter the workforce as World War II rages on. After the war, she will advocate not only for continued employment opportunities for women but fair wages as well. This spirit of servant leadership will travel throughout our family for decades until it lights a fire within me, too.
I share her eyes, her name, and her dreams. She hopes to leave a legacy. She doesn’t realize it’s standing right in front of her.
Chapter Fifteen
This Is Me Trying by Taylor Swift
April 12, 1912
I sit at the table in the sitting room with my feet up on the other chair as Ben finishes getting ready for dinner.
“I have to tell you something.”
“What’s up?” Ben seems to be half-listening as he gels his hair to the side in the mirror.
“Violet is… she’s uh…” I stammer. I have the words, but I can hardly believe what I’m about to say.
“She’s what, Al?”
I finally just blurt it out. “She’s Alice Carney.”
Ben freezes, comb in hand. “Stop. You’re kidding.” He turns to face me, his mouth agape. “Seriously?”
“I’m serious. She told me today. We were walking on deck, and just talking about life and women. She said something that made the wheels start turning for me. I got suspicious that maybe she knew who Carney was. I don’t know why it never occurred to me that Violet and Alice Carney were the same person.”
“How did this happen?”
“You know the cover that’s framed in my office?” Ben nods, having seen it daily. “She quoted it. I mean, she’s said a lot of feminist things that made me think she was part of the movement, but then she directly quoted the cover. It could have been coincidental. I mean, she’s from Boston too, so of course she would have access to reading the magazine herself to know the quote. But something deep in me kept saying there was something more. It’s silly because all the evidence was right there, and I never even thought about the possibility that she was Carney. I just overlooked it, like I had a blind spot. I think I was so preoccupied with getting to know her, I just didn’t see what was right in front of me. So I just straight up asked her if she knew who Alice Carney was, and she told me everything.”
“Can we trust her?” My eyes narrow on Ben, ready to pounce in defense of Violet. He raises his hands to stop me. “I just mean, could she be covering for someone else?”
“I suppose anything is a possibility, but I believe her. She trusted me with this information and I believe what she’s told me. Plus, as records show, Alice Carney disappeared and didn't publish for six weeks in the spring of 1912. Those six weeks line right up with the sinking. She was grieving. Or Violet was.”
“Wow. This is incredible. You’ve been working on this for so long. Do you realize what this means, Ali?”
“It’s as monumental as Robert Ballard finding the Titanic wreck in 1985. I get that. I dreamed of uncovering her identity for so long, and now that I have, it means something entirely different to me. I finally realize why I am named for Alice Carney. It was for Violet. It was for Violet all along.”
