“Alright. A computer is an electronic device that stores data. In the future, we use them for information, communication, entertainment, just about everything really. Make sense?”
“Hardly, but I trust you.” Charlie laughs as he struggles to understand. It’s like I’m speaking a completely foreign language to him.
Obviously I won’t have any kind of service, but the battery should allow me to access my stored music. I run my finger down to the power button, press, and wait. The screen lights up, and Charlie’s eyes follow.
“Remarkable.”
“What music would you like?”
He nods his head toward the phone. “You pick. I doubt I would know anything.”
I have a wide mix of music that I listen to during any given mood, but I know much of it isn’t suitable right now. I don’t think I need to shock him with my music library. I scroll through the options, looking for something slow. Something that would encapsulate this moment. I turn up the volume and make my selection. “And So It Goes”by Billy Joel starts to play.
I set the phone down on the table and turn toward Charlie and extend my arms out to him. “Shall we?”
He suddenly looks nervous. “What do I do?”
“Here, put your hand right here.” I take one of his hands and place it around the small of my back. I put my hand on his shoulder. “Give me your other hand.” I take it and hold it in mine, and rest my head down onto his chest.
I can feel Charlie unsure of his footwork. His body is stiff and I can tell he’s trying to count box steps in his head.
“Hey, don’t worry, it’s not a waltz. You don’t have to step like that. Just relax and sway.”
I feel Charlie relax his body against me and move back and forth, calmly swaying to the piano as Billy Joel’s tenor voice floods the room.
For a short time, I forget we’re aboard a doomed ocean liner. Time stands still and I forget that our time together is quickly running out. It’s just us, locked together, in this perfect moment. I hold him tighter and breathe him in. I never want to forget this. I feel his heart beat against my chest and I’ve never felt more at home than I do in his arms.
It feels as though I’m hearing the song for the first time, or maybe just finally truly understanding it. Billy Joel sings a mournful ballad about a relationship that, although doomed to end, was entirely worth the pain. I have spent my life guarding my heart, hoping to never be hurt again. And I know that within hours, my heart will be broken. But for it to break means it still works. Charlie may be capable of breaking my heart, but he’s revived it. He’s brought me back to life. And at the end of these magical few days we’ve spent together, I would do it all again. Even knowing my heart would shatter at the end of the journey, any measure of time with him is worth it. And if the choice were mine to make, I would choose to be with Charlie. I would choose him a thousand times over.
As the song wanes, Charlie looks down at me. His eyes are gentle and adoring, but I can tell he’s putting on a brave face for me. He tenderly brushes a curl out of my face and smiles before kissing me deeply.
“This isn’t fair. We need more time.” My eyes well up at the thought of what’s coming.
Charlie cups my face and gently caresses my cheek, wiping away the tear that's fallen. “I know, love. But we’ve had more time than I could have dreamed of. And it’s been perfect.”
I look across the room at the clock on the end table. It’s almost eleven. Titanic will hit the iceberg around eleven forty and descend to the ocean floor less than three hours later.
I look back up at Charlie, intent on savoring this moment. I study his face, hoping to etch it into my memory.
“I’ve spent my life putting up walls, Charlie. I’ve created armor around myself so no one could hurt me. I didn’t let anyone in. I was too afraid. Until I met you.”
“Will you promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“When this is all over, don’t put them back up.”
I nod as tears form in the corners of my eyes.
Charlie gently takes my chin between his thumb and pointer finger and tilts my face up toward his.
“Promise me, love.”
“I promise, Charlie.” I put my head back down on his chest and hold him tighter.
His voice and the comfort I feel looking into his eyes have a calming effect on me. I never want to forget those eyes. I look back over at my phone on the table and have a sudden realization.
I step back and look up at Charlie. “Can I ask for a favor?” He nods affirmatively, but seems curious about what I could be asking for.
