Dr. Conrad smiles at me. He may never comprehend what we all went through, but he has understanding and empathy for it.
Dr. McCoy leans forward. “I suppose the biggest question we have is: what next? Considering the experience you all had, we’re curious to know your opinion on what we should do with this information. This discovery can change the world in more ways than one. We can learn so much. But I realize that each time we open this box, we’re taking a risk. Do we shut this down now and pretend we never discovered it, or do we move forward to a new mission to a new historical event?”
I shrug and look toward Ben, Sarah, and Eric. “I’m not sure I should get a vote here. I broke the rules for my personal gain. I don’t think I should get an opinion on whether someone else should have the same opportunity.”
“I want to know what everyone thinks,” Dr. McCoy affirms. “Everyone’s experience matters, Ali.”
Ben, Sarah, and Eric look toward me, and we silently communicate to each other that we’re all on the same page.
I break the awkward silence filling the room. “Malcolm, I don’t know if I can answer your question unselfishly. This experience has changed my life. I met people I will carry with me always. We all did. I found a once in a lifetime love that makes me feel like my life has finally really begun, and I could safely bring him home.” I squeeze Charlie’s hand. I don’t want him to think I regret the decision we made. “But I also realize that I was playing a risky game, and I put everyone in a dangerous position. I know how much could have been destroyed if I took one step out of turn. I don’t know if that’s something we should do again. What will we truly learn? This was a gift, and I cherish it, but we’re playing with fire here. At some point, intentional or not, someone will alter history and then it’s game over. I mean, even I almost brought the whole thing down. Can you risk that again? Can you risk your discovery falling into the hands of someone else, someone who perhaps does not have the intention to just learn?”
“I understand that, but to witness history…”
“You’re not just witnessing it, Malcolm. That’s the thing. You’re notjustwitnessing it. You’re not invisible. You’re part of it. These are real people, this is their real life, and real things will happen to them. Love, loss, all of it. It’s real. With all due respect, you weren’t there. We got to know these people, learned about their lives, their families, their stories. We heard their screams, saw their fear, watched them say goodbye to their loved ones. I’ll never get that out of my head. And I’m telling you, Malcolm, that guilt, of knowing the end and not being able to help them, that will weigh on me for the rest of my life. I don’t wish that on anyone. As hypocritical as this sounds, my vote is to shut it down.”
Dr. McCoy sighs and looks toward Ben, Eric, and Sarah. “And you all share this opinion?”
The three of them exchange a look with each other and nod.
“We do,” Sarah says confidently as she speaks for the group. “But in the spirit of compromise, I think we would all be willing to discuss it again if you’d agree to table it for a while. We all just need some time to process this.”
Dr. Conrad stands with Dr. McCoy, both looking crestfallen.
“James, please don’t be mad,” Ben pleads, fearful he has let down his godfather, who hasn’t spoken a word for a few minutes now.
Dr. Conrad’s frown softens. “I’m not mad, Ben.” He pauses a moment, almost as if he can feel his emotions taking over. “What you all went through is something I can never understand. Only you walked that path and only you can speak to what it was like. If you say it’s a heavy emotional toll, then I believe you. Do I wish it was different? Of course I do.” He gestures over toward Dr. McCoy. “Selfishly, I want the world to know of our discovery. I want us to be recognized. I want to send another group on a time travel mission. But if you all feel so strongly that it’s worth putting a pin in the issue and investigating whether it really needs to be done again, then that’s what we will do.”
I think we all breathe a collective sigh of relief. It’s not a win by any means, but it’s the closest we’ll get to one, for now at least. We agree to talk about it again when everyone has had time to digest the experience, letting cooler heads prevail for now. We all recognize that time travel is a monumental discovery. We just want to protect it, and if keeping it out of everyone’s hands safeguards it, then so be it. My greatest fear is it somehow becoming a monetized celebrity experience. I don’t want to turn on my television one day and find out Elon Musk is at the Battle of Gettysburg or Kim Kardashian is with Neil Armstrong on the moon or Pete Davidson is swooping in on a newly widowed Jackie Kennedy. Money shouldn’t be able to buyeverything.
“James, I need to speak with you.” Ben grabs at Dr. Conrad’s shoulder, ushering him toward a private room off the side of the lab. His voice sounds urgent. I’m not sure what that is about and I hardly have time to worry about it before Dr. McCoy interrupts my thoughts.
“Why don’t you get changed, Alice? You’re soaked.”
In all the excitement at the turn of events, I’ve barely noticed that my dress is drenched. As the adrenaline subsides, I realize how heavy it is and how cold I actually am.
I look over at Charlie and squeeze his hand. “Will you be okay for a moment?” I have this unfounded fear in my head that if he’s out of my sight he may disappear, like this was all in my imagination, simply too good to be true.
He smiles at me. “Take all the time you need.”
Sarah and I go into a separate room to change, and I am immediately regretting the moto jacket and cropped jeans I wore this morning. Sarah changes quickly and puts her dress back on the rack. I don’t find the task as easy. These clothes hold memories in them. Woven into the threads are the people I’ll never see again but have changed me to my very core. I sit down on the bench in the changing room, clutching the emerald gown in my arms. I can’t bring myself to let it go. I fix my stare on the trunk and just think about the events that brought me to this moment, and the memories I created in these garments.
Dr. McCoy knocks and enters the room, watching me stare at the collection of dresses.
“Ali, are you okay?”
“Can I keep them?” Something about being separated from them feels unfathomable to me. I can’t imagine I would ever wear them again, but they make me feel closer to Violet. He reaches out and takes the dress from my arms. He smiles at me and begins folding the gown carefully and places it into the trunk I brought onboard. “I’ll have the trunk loaded into your car,” he says sweetly as he leaves the room.
I stare at myself in the mirror, taking a last glance before I return to Charlie. I haven’t seen the twenty-first century Alice in some time now. I’m nervous to leave the room, scared for Charlie to see the real modern Alice. What if she isn’t what he expected or hoped for? What if she’s too progressive? What if one day this becomes too much for him? I quickly push those thoughts away. I don’t need to think like this anymore, to always assume the worst. Everything Charlie has shown me these past few days makes it clear he fell in love with the real me and I don’t need to be afraid anymore. My wardrobe may have changed, but he’s already seen my personality and my flaws and he loves me for them. He lovesme.
I walk back into the main room. As I enter, I can see Charlie and Ben engaged in a friendly conversation. Ben has already changed, but Charlie remains in his uniform. He stops when he sees me enter and his eyes brighten. I walk up to him nervously. I forget for a moment that he has already seen photos of me in modern clothing. Something about the real thing in person feels unnerving.
He looks me up and down and smiles. “You’re still my Alice.” He puts his arm around me and kisses me on the forehead. “I suppose I’ll need some modern fashions too, yes?”
“Oh! This will be fun!” Ben jumps in, excited at the prospect of shopping and styling Charlie.
I gently tap Ben’s arm. “Hey, baby steps, alright?” I know he will need clothes, and I know he will need them soon. But I want to tread carefully with this transition for him and make it as comfortable as possible. I also want him to find his own sense of style in this new world.
“Okay, okay,” Ben relents. His fashion vision will have to wait for another day. Right now, I just want to go home. I study Ben’s face for a moment. He looks like he needs to say something, like he’s nervous. “Hey, Al. Before you go.” Ben reaches into his bag and pulls out a large envelope. “These are for you,” he says as he hands it to me.
