She’s already handed in her notice. Already started packing her life up.
And here I’ve been waiting for the right time, the perfect moment, like life owes me some neat little gesture to say how I feel.
I don’t know where to go from here.
I adjustmy cufflinks for the thousandth time, though they were fine the first. My tie is crooked, but I don’t think I care anymore. My hands keep shaking and I can’t make them stop.
Staring at myself in the mirror doesn’t help. All I see in my reflection is the bed she’s slept in. The pillow that smells like her now.
My phone buzzes on the dresser. Mum.
“Hey,” I answer quickly, clearing my throat.
“Oliver, you better not be halfway out the door without talking to me,” she says, warm and scolding in the same breath.
“I was going to call after.” I exhale, dropping my shoulders.
“And miss a good luck speech from me? I don’t think so.” I can hear her moving around the kitchen at home. Probably making her nightly tea before she sets up a livestream of the awards.
“I don’t need a speech, Mum.”
She’s quiet for a moment, like she senses my mind isn’t on football right now. “What’s on your mind, Ollie?”
“Addison,” I say quietly. “I think she’s really going to leave.”
Silence stretches for a beat.
“Mum, I love her.”
“I know you do.”
“I don’t want her to leave. I don’t want to let her go without trying to stop her.”
I hear her sigh, a soft, knowing kind of sigh. “So don’t.”
“What if she leaves anyway?”
“Then you’ll be proud of yourself for trying,” she says simply. “But what if she says yes?”
I hesitate. I don’t have an answer for that.
“Tell me something, love,” she says gently. “What would Henry tell you to do right now?”
My chest tightens, the grief sitting sharp and dull all at once.
I don’teven need to think about it. I can already hear his voice, clear as day.
Go on, mate. Go get her. She’s the one. Don’t cock it up.
“He’d tell me to bloody go for it,” I say, quiet and cracked.
“Exactly,” she says, and I can hear her smile through the phone. “Play for the win.”
I let out a small smile.
“Oliver,” she says, “you don’t have to protect everyone else all the time. Sometimes you have to fight for whatyouwant.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I love you, Mum.”
