I snap so hard I don’t even think. I just let every feeling I’ve swallowed for years detonate.
“You’re pathetic,” I spit, voice trembling, not from fear, but from fury. From everything I’ve never said. “You are the smallest man I have ever known, Matt.”
He blinks, caught off guard by the venom in my voice, but I’m not done.
“You chipped away at me,” I continue, each word sharper than the last. “Every time you hurt me. Every condescending word. Every lie. Every time you humiliated me in public, every time you gaslit me in private. Every time you made me feel like I was too much, or not enough, or somehow even both at the same time. You took pieces of me, and I let you. I let you break me down because I didn’t realize I could fight back.”
He shifts, mouth parting like he’s about to cut in, but I don’t give him the chance.
“You took pieces of me until there was nothing left. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I didn’t even like myself.” My voice drops, steadier, stronger. “But I built myself back from the ruins and I will not let you take that away from me. I’m not the girl you hurt. I’m not afraid of you. I’m not in awe of you.”
His mouth twists, frustration flickering across his face. “Addison. You know I love you.”
“No,” I hiss, pulling away from him. “You don’t.” He flinches like I decked him, and for a second, I wish I had. “You don’t even know what love is, Matt. You never have.”
His mouth opens, ready to spin more straw into poisonous gold, but I cut him off. I need to say this.
“You called it love when you controlled me. When you made me feel crazy for having needs, for wanting respect. You conditioned me to believe I was hard to love, and that the scraps I got from you were all I deserved, and I was lucky to even be tolerated by you.”
I steadymyself. “But being here… working for this team, being surrounded by people who see me, people who show up for each other without keeping score—I’ve realized something. I want more. Ideservemore.”
I take a breath, sharp and sure. “You will never know what that kind of love feels like, Matt. You are not capable of giving it, and you sure as hell don’t deserve to receive it. You are a poor, pathetic excuse for a man, and I hope that someday you feel even half the smallness you tried to make me live in.”
Matt’s mouth opens again, likely reaching for one more manipulative plea, but instead he just stutters, like I’ve left him speechless. I can tell he wasn’t expecting that. He was expecting tears. Rage. Maybe even regret. But I’m clean now. I scrubbed myself free of him.
I step in close enough that he can see the peace in my eyes, the fire in my spine, and the absence of any love I used to feel for him.
“And as for me?” I say, voice calm, but confident. “I will never think about you again after today.” I pause, and the ghost of a smile tugs at my mouth. “But I’m pretty sure you’ll think about me for the rest of your life.”
I don’t give him another second. I walk away from him. From all of it—the fear, the guilt, and the silence he made me swallow for too long.
I walk out the front doors, not just toward the party, but toward my life.
I’m not broken anymore. I’m free.
47
late winner
DAYLIGHT BY TAYLOR SWIFT
I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed this much at a team function in my life. Sebastian’s halfway through a story about a red card he received earlier this season that he swears was “complete bullshit,” but Carlos is heckling him from across the table like we’re at an open mic night.
And me? I’m smiling. Genuinely smiling. It’s not forced or polite. It’s not the kind of smile that doesn’t reach the eyes as you half-listen to a story. It’s just easy. Real.
I haven’t told Addison how I feel yet. I don’t even know if she’s coming tonight. For all I know, she’s at her flat in sweatpants, packing her life into suitcases. I’m not going to let her walk away without hearing the truth, but I also know she’s not the only person I need to open myself up to.
Tonight I showed up for my team, and if she walks in too, I’m going to do the same for her.
“What’s going on with you, Captain?” Sebastian says, grinning. “You going soft?”
“What?” I ask, pretending not to understand.
Carlos laughs. “He smiles now. It’s weird.”
I roll myeyes, but I can’t help the smirk tugging at my mouth. “Thanks, lads.”
Brennan smiles. “Nah, mate. It’s good. You’re just… lighter.”
