I got back down, blinking away the tears. “I’m looking, Dad. I’m here.”
He dropped the rock and patted the ground beside him. Then he closed his eyes.
That’s when the phone died, plunging us into darkness. I didn’t even get to see what time it was.
There was nothing I could do to save him.
Just like the last time, thousands of miles from here. I saw Ulli’s eyes staring at me. I saw the pool of blood under Mirabelle.
I felt the doll like a phantom limb in my palm.
I dropped onto the grass, trying hard to stay calm.
Dad’s hand whacked against mine, gripping it when he found out where I was.
He made a noise.
“Aah-eeeh”
He sounded like Henry.
“What are you trying to say, Dad?” I croaked.
“Aah-eeh.”
He coughed, the sound loose and flappy.
“Aah-eeh.”
Was itSorry?
“You don’t have to be sorry, Dad,” I whispered, my throat tight.
But he squeezed my hand, and I wondered, if that was what he was saying, if he might have meant it for everything.
CHAPTER 42
He Wouldn’t
ELLIE
The next day started out with me waking to a text from Sam from last night. He must have sent it before he’d even left to go home. There were three of them, actually.
SAM: I love you
SAM: I love you
SAM: I fucking love you, Ellie.
I grinned, glowing like a firefly. Then I got up and on with my day.
Sam was supposed to be back here at ten to help set up the backyard for Tommy, so I didn’t think much of him not responding to myI love you too, how did you sleep? text. He was probably sleeping. Then, probably driving.
But by the time ten came and went, I started to worry.
I handed Henry to Mom, then hit his number.
It didn’t even ring.
