“Excuse me,” I said, pushing up from the table. I hurried into the house, not wanting my kids to see me losing it.
Conrad looked at me awkwardly, like he wanted to say something reassuring, but I was already gone.
I staggered down the hallway, holding my hand against the wall for support. This is where Sam supported me when I could barely walk. I passed my doorway. That’s where Sam made me feel beautiful and loved, and took me to the moon. Past my boys’ rooms, where I knew Sam had sung his son to sleep, and Tommy’s room, where he’d told Tommy corny jokes through the door to get him to wake up to get to school. To the front door, where he’d looked so nervous that first day, and everyone had seen it.
“He’s not gone,” I said out loud. “He’s not.”
Down the street, by Kit’s truck, she and Chip were in a heated fight. Her red hair was wild, her cheeks pink. She was crying. I hoped somehow that this was it for them.
Out on the river walk, a tourist family was passing, the dad taking a photo of the mom with two teenage boys at the railing.
That could have been a version of us.
It still could be.
I sank down on the step, dialing Sam’s parents again. I didn’t expect them to pick up. They hadn’t all morning.
A cab pulled up, blocking my view of the family.
At the same time, a voice sounded on the end of the phone. “Hello?”
I frowned, confused. It didn’t make sense, but the voice sounded a lot like Cora.
“Hello?” I said. “This is Ellie. Is this?—”
“Ellie, oh my God. Have you talked to him? Is he there?”
My stomach felt like I’d been punched. If I’d been able to reach her the first time he left, would it have sounded like this?
“I—” I began.
But that cab, across the street… someone was getting out onto the sidewalk. Someone with dark hair. A man, who braced his hand on the roof of the vehicle.
“He left the hospital, Ellie. He said he had to get to you. His phone was dead and he was yelling about not having your number, they said he should stay but?—”
I dropped the phone. It clapped onto the stoop, maybe broken. I didn’t care. Not at all. Because the man getting out of the cab was staring at me. He had crystal-blue eyes.
He was wearing the same clothes he was in last night. That same stupid t-shirt that made me laugh-cry as I went running down the stairs.
A car honked as Sam staggered into the street, swerving to get out of his way.
I ran and ran, it felt like a mile, but then I was there, he was there, and I was in his arms. They were crushing me. He was holding me so tight I couldn’t breathe. But nothing mattered, not even air. Because I knew. Iknew.
“I didn’t leave, Ellie,” he said into my hair. “I didn’t leave you. I needed you to know.”
“I know,” I said, trying hard not to sob. I pulled back, cupping his face, looking into his bloodshot eyes. “I know, Sam.”
Then his lips were on mine, the sparks exploding through me more powerful than an electrocution. They felt like the beginnings of a galaxy. Of a whole new world being created right there between us.
A honk startled us into breaking the kiss.
We were blocking traffic.
“Come on,” I said, taking Sam’s hand. I guided him across the street. But I didn’t notice until we reached the curb that he was limping badly. I didn’t notice the paleness of his skin until he’d stepped up onto the sidewalk with what looked like super-human strength.
“Kit!” I yelled.
But she and Chip were inside her truck, facing the other way.
