“So it dropped me on the back deck?”
“It kept you safe until you got home. Until you weren’t holding Henry.”
Until I saw you.
Sam wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. He felt solid and safe. I think that’s what I’d seen across the fences, too. When he’d straightened up and given me that bashful look.
“Let’s get you inside,” he said, his voice low. He helped me over the lip of the patio door, which took him lifting me a little.
“I think I’m okay,” I said.
“Really? You want me to let go?”
I swallowed. My knees still felt wobbly. “No,” I said meekly. To be honest, it was nice not to hold myself up for once.
Sam tightened his arm around me, pulling me just a little more snugly against his side as we made our way down the hallway. “I won’t let go, Ellie.”
Warmth bloomed in my chest at his words.
We’d reached the door to my room. “I’m going to put you in here, okay?” Sam said. “Just to rest up a bit.”
It was a little messy: a shirt hung over the chair in the corner and a basket of laundry was overflowing next to it. I’d barely thrown my duvet over the sheets in the rush to leave this morning. But it was better than him trying to haul me up the stairs.
“Yes,” I said. “Okay.”
After we decided we were going to be friends, I’d gotten much more strict about interrupting any attempts my brain made at revisiting the night we met. Some times were harder than others. Like seeing him shirtless, holding our baby. But as Sam gently lowered me onto the bed, my body still not quite back to my own, I relapsed.
Bad.
I think it was him hovering over me, his scent in my nostrils. Or was it his hands on my body, holding me almost reverently? Or seeing all of it in the full length mirrored doors of the closet next to the bed?
Whatever it was, I was flooded with the memory of our naked bodies together just like this. And I was too weak to fight it.
So I didn’t. Just this time, I swore, I let myself fall into him.
For a moment I couldn’t breathe. Then I could, and I breathed greedily. I inhaled him like an animal sniffing a mate. I felt my hips lifting, searching for contact.
“Ellie?” Sam’s breath was warm against my cheek, making it somuch worse.
Sam pulled back, just enough to see my face.
That was enough to still my body. But I knew I had to keep my eyes shut. Because if I saw those eyes up close, I was loopy enough to do something much worse than pretending.
“Hey,” Sam said, mistaking whatever was going on with me as worry. Or fear. “You’re okay.”
The words rippled over me like warm honey.
I needed him out of here. He was too close. This would be too easy.
His heat was a physical thing against me. His arms were like steel. His hands, still cupped around my waist, were so warm and firm and strong. He could slide them right down, tilt my hips just the way he needed to?—
My eyelids began to flutter.No.I clamored for the one thought that would stop me.
My kids.
“The boys,” I managed. “Can you check on them? I asked Tommy to get Henry a bottle…”
“Of course,” Sam said. “I’ll just—” he paused. “I’ll need you to let go of me, sweetheart.”
