“Real winner today,” Luca smirks.
“‘I’ll show her what a real man looks like,’” Anderson continues.
“Yeah, a real man having a breakdown over the national anthem,” Zach adds.
“‘I’ve got moves that’ll blow her mind,’” Brody joins in.
“Only thing that got blown was our lead,” Roman laughs.
I take it, because honestly, they’re not wrong. Every cocky line I’ve ever dropped is coming back to haunt me, and hearing them all repeated while fresh off getting destroyed by weekend warriors makes me sound like exactly the asshole I probably am.
“‘She’ll be begging for more,’” Rodriguez continues the hit parade.
“‘I’ll rock her world,’” Anderson adds.
“‘Trust me, I know how to handle women,’” Luca grins.
“Really handled this one,” Roman observes.
“Got her so hot and bothered she... sang a song,” Brody deadpans.
The room erupts in laughter.
“Maybe your game’s off,” Zach suggests. “Lost your touch.”
“‘I’m irresistible,’” Anderson quotes. “‘Women can’t say no to me.’”
“This one’s been saying no for months,” Roman points out.
“Maybe you need new material,” Rodriguez suggests. “Your old lines clearly aren’t working if you’re getting destroyed by?—”
“I bet she’s tight though,” Rodriguez continues with a grin. “You know how those soccer moms are. All wound up, looking for a real man to show them what they’ve been missing.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP.”
The words explode out of me before I can stop them. The room goes dead silent.
Rodriguez blinks. “Dude, what?—”
“Just shut up about her, okay?” My voice is rougher than I intended. “Talk shit about me all you want, but leave her out of it.”
“Since when do you care?” Roman asks, genuinely confused.
“Since always.”
“Bullshit,” Anderson says. “Two months ago you were rating that brunette’s performance in detail.”
“That was different.”
“How?” Brody asks.
I don’t have an answer that doesn’t make me sound insane.
“Look,” Barrett says carefully, “nobody’s trying to?—”
“She’s not some conquest,” I interrupt. “She’s not a MILF or a soccer mom or whatever fucking category you want to put her in. She’s just... she’s better than that. Better than this. Better than me.”
The silence stretches uncomfortably.
