“Yes.”
I unhook it with one hand, slide it off, and take a moment to just look.
“You’re staring,” she says.
“You’re worth staring at.”
I lean down, take her nipple in my mouth, and feel her whole body tighten.
I work her slowly—mouth on her breasts, hand sliding down her stomach, learning the geography of her body.
When I slip my hand inside her underwear, she gasps.
“Okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. Yes. Okay.”
She’s wet. I find her clit and circle it gently. Her hips jerk.
“That work?” I ask.
“Yes—god, yes?—”
I maintain the pressure, the rhythm, watching her face. She’s close already—I can see it in how her thighs tense, how her breathing gets shallow.
“Holy shit,” she breathes.
“I know.” I feel her get wetter. “Let it build. Don’t think. Just feel it.”
She’s right there. Right on the edge. Her nails dig into my forearm, her back arches, her whole body is trembling?—
I stop.
Pull my hand away completely.
“What—” She opens her eyes, trying to focus. “Why did you?—”
“Lesson one.” I sit up, putting physical distance between us. “You need to learn the feeling without the release. Your body needs to remember what it’s like to be right there.”
“But I was—I could have?—”
“I know.” I stand. “That’s the point.”
She sits up, still looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You’re just going to stop?”
“I told you I was going to.” I head for the door. “Go to bed, Marnie. Don’t touch yourself.”
I turn back. She’s sitting up now, flushed and frustrated and so beautiful it actually hurts. “This is bullshit.”
“This is lesson one,” I say. “Learning to sit with the want. To feel it without chasing it.” I open the door. “Tomorrow we’ll do it again. And the day after. However many times it takes until your body learns to trust mine.”
“And if it doesn’t work?”
“It will.” I meet her eyes. “You know why? Because I pay attention. Those other guys? They didn’t. But I’m going to learn every single thing that makes you gasp. Every spot that makes you shake. Every sound you make when you’re close.” I lean against the doorframe. “And then I’m going to use all of it to teach you exactly how good it can be when someone actually gives a shit.”
I leave before she can respond, closing the door softly behind me.
Back in my room, I’m so hard it’s painful. I take the coldest shower of my life and it barely helps.
