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Mackie

so I heard a really funny story today

Me

oh no

Mackie

my dad got home from practice and told my mom that you have a family in vancouver and I’m wondering why I didn’t hear about this from you

Me

it’s not what it sounds like

Mackie

it sounds like we have three children

Me

Rodriguez heard you laughing in my apartment on friday and now the entire team thinks I’m hiding a family in canada

Mackie

RODRIGUEZ WAS OUTSIDE YOUR APARTMENT???

Me

apparently he could smell your perfume in the hallway

Mackie

oh my god

oh my GOD

Me

this is your fault

Mackie

what did you tell them

Me

nothing. I kept saying there’s nobody and the more I denied it the worse it got

Mackie

incredible

well your secret fake wife says goodnight

try not to wake the kids

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