“I also want every touch between us to belong to the man standing in front of me. Not to someone you believe you have to imitate.”
Noah’s eye shone.
“I don’t know how to ask.”
“Ask for what?”
“Anything.”
He looked furious with himself.
“My body responds when you kiss me. I want more, and then I think about everything we must have done. It feels like another life I’m expected to perform correctly.”
“You are not performing for me.”
“You’ll compare.”
“No.”
“You remember.”
“I remember what came before.” I held his gaze. “I can still meet you where you are now.”
His mouth tightened.
“What if I’m different in bed?”
“Then we learn what different means.”
“What if I don’t want the same things?”
“Then we leave them in the past.”
“What if I never want sex again?”
The question struck a painful place.
I allowed it to hurt.
“Then we do not have sex.”
Noah searched my face as though expecting the truth to crack.
“You’d stay.”
“Yes.”
“Even if it never changed?”
“Yes.”
“You answer too easily.”
“It is not easy.” My voice remained quiet. “It is clear.”
His chin trembled.
“I don’t want to lose that part of myself too.”
