The tears arrived before I could stop them.
I sat back on my heels, furious that my control had chosen this moment to fail.
Noah moved toward me.
“Cal.”
“I heard you scream.”
The words came out rough.
“For one second, I thought something inside your head had broken again.”
He reached for me.
I caught his hand but could not look at his face.
“I thought I had finally started believing we were safe.”
My chest tightened until breathing hurt.
“The claim was approved. You were working. You were remembering good things. We were making plans.”
A tear struck our joined hands.
“Then a song played and you were back inside the van.”
“I came out.”
“This time.”
The truth sounded cruel.
I hated it as soon as I heard it.
Noah did not flinch.
“Yes.”
I pressed his hand to my forehead.
“I’m always waiting for the next thing.”
His fingers moved into my hair.
“The next headache. The next fall. The next memory. The next phone call telling me another piece of our life is gone.”
“You’ve been waiting since the accident.”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you needed me steady.”
“I need you honest.”
A wet laugh escaped me.
