I want to cuddle him. To cradle his head and assure him that I'm alright, but my hands remain caught in his grip and I fear any movement will dislodge contact with him. So I wait.
"I'm okay, Kon."
"You are hurt. That is not okay. That is not…" He lifts his head and slides his hand from my chest up to my cheek. "It will never happen again. I swear it. I will protect you. I will."
"Kon?" I tilt my head and hold his gaze. "What happened to Ethan?"
In all my time here, it's been very clear just how much they care about one another, and the volume of blood staining Kon's shirt is enough to tempt the worst in my mind. My attack in the park hardly seems worth discussing if Ethan is in the hospital.
"He took a bullet for me," Kon says quietly. "I killed a threat to me. And his men reacted. Ethan took the bullet just here…" His rough fingertips slide down the length of my neck to the juncture of my shoulder. "So much blood. I have seen my fair share but on someone I know? It was…" He pauses and pain flashes in his eyes, pain from memories he won't share.
Slowly, I detangle my hands from his hand and cradle his face. "He'll be okay." I want to promise it, but I can't. There's a grimness to Kon's face as he turns into my palm.
"Perhaps," is all he says. His eyes close and for a few long seconds, we simply exist with one another, touching and comforting.
It lasts until the guilt surges back beneath my ribs and it stabs right into my heart, forcing me to wince.
The world sees him as a monster yet here he is with his head in my lap, struggling with worry for his friend and concern for me.
This is the man Mathew wants me to destroy.
"Are you in pain?" Kon's eyes are open and he gazes up at me with that same worried frown. "I will fetch the doctor."
"No, I'm okay," I assure him. "I'm just worried. About Ethan. And you. And that general."
Kon grunts slightly. "Calvin told me he made a pass at you at the party. The only reason I did not take his head is because we are still investigating the leak. If I had, then you would not be?—"
"Don't." I cut him off quickly. "Don't think like that. I know as well as you do that killing him before you find the leak could be detrimental down the line because whoever is betraying you could get scared and shut things down. I'm not mad about it. Calvin protected me. I am safe. You are safe."
A soft buzz catches my ears and Kon is forced to lean up from me to get his phone from his pocket. He taps the screen once and his shoulders sag down.
"Ethan is stable," he recites. "Calvin called the doctor on his way over. He is stable." Relief visibly surges through him in a wave, and his head sags once more as if all his muscles are unknotting. "I feared the worst."
"I know. But it's okay." Leaning forward, I kiss the top of his head. "Ethan's okay. I'm okay. We're all okay."
Kon grumbles softly. "Tell me what you need from me. I would guess, but I am tired, my dear."
The warm words bury into my chest only to be blocked by the guilt taking root there, so I close my eyes. "Distract me."
"Hm?" Kon lifts his head and I follow his movements in my mind's eye.
"I want to forget everything for a little while."
Kon nods and then he stands.
The absence of his heat makes me open my eyes, and I chase his trailing hand as he moves toward the ensuite.
Hand in hand, we walk together into the bathroom where Kon immediately sheds his blood-soaked shirt and drops it into the sink.
Then he turns the two brass taps attached to the bath and starts running hot water.
"It may not calm the mind," Kon says quietly. "But if we start with the body, the mind will follow."
"You want to bathe together?" I lean back against the counter. Initially, I'd wanted another kind of distraction. Being fucked six ways to Sunday would certainly dislodge the guilt in my chest, but this is just as good. Especially with the slight wooziness creeping up from those strong painkillers.
Kon passes by me and presses his lips to my forehead, then he picks up the bottle of bubble bath and turns back to the water. "In all the excitement, I forgot to mention something."
"Oh?" I follow him and lean around his shoulder, watching the blue liquid pour from the bottle and mingle with the water, creating all the bubbles.
