Page 86 of Cruel Lies

"Right," I say with a nod. "Iwas.Past tense is the correct choice."

She wipes at her face with the back of her hand, but it just smears it worse. She looks around, quick, checking who's watching, and shudders when she remembers where we are.This is a room full of people who matter, and she's crying in a gold dress that isn't nice enough, next to me, in a dress that's exactly perfect.

"It just happened," she insists in a choked voice. "With Todd, I mean. I didn't plan it."

"I believe you. And you know what, Paula? I don't even hate you for it. I could—I did, for a bit there—but I don't anymore. Mostly, I just pity you. Because you don't even see that what happened to me would happen to you, too, sooner or later. When you got older, or you had a kid, or you stopped fitting the dress he liked so much… You saw what he did to me. You had a front-row seat to exactly what kind of man he is, and you got in bed with him anyway. So whatever's coming for you, Paula—and somethingiscoming, because karma is very, very real—you had every piece of information you needed to see it coming, and you did it anyway."

She's crying openly now. "I'm sorry," Paula sobs. "Cali, I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't fix things. It's not enough. But I am. I've lost everything, too. Do you know that? I lost my job. The school found out. I'm not—I don't even teach anymore. Todd's a mess, he's angry all the time, he blames me for the money, he blames me for you being at the bank that day like I had anything to do with it. It's not—" She stops and wipes her face again. "It's not what I thought it would be."

This is the part where the old me would have felt bad. Maybe I would have saidit's okayordon't cryor reached out and fixed her makeup for her, because that's what I did for fifteen years. I managed Paula's feelings. I made Paula okay. That was my job in the friendship, I realize, standing here.

I was the one who took care of her.

I'm not doing that anymore.

"You wanted my life," I say, spreading my hands wide. "Well, you're welcome to it."

Her face is buried in her palms as she's wracked with sobs.

I glance toward the doors where Ronan took Todd. They're still closed. I wonder what's happening back there.

When I look back, Paula is eyeing me as if it's the worst day of her charmed life. Maybe it is; I wouldn't know, and it's no longer my job to fix it.

All I see is a woman who thought I was too dumb to realize she was being manipulated. A woman who bet everything on the wrong man and lost.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asks. "To—I don't know. To make it?—"

"No," I say. "There isn't. Some things you can't fix. You can only be sorry for them. And I do believe you're sorry. But sorry doesn't give me back everything you took. Not my husband or my best friend, and certainly not the future I thought I had." I raise a hand to comb a bang out of my face, and she flinches as if she thought I was about to hit her. That just makes me laugh. Even now, she doesn't understand. "You can relax. I'm not going to yell at you, or throw a drink at you. I'm not even angry, really. I just don't have anywhere to put you anymore. You're not my friend. You're not my enemy. You're just—a woman I used to know, who did a terrible thing, and who now has to live inside the results."

The band finishes a song. There's a smattering of applause, the clink of glasses being toasted. Paula stands there with her ruinedface and her wrong dress, her bobby pins falling out of her ruined hair, with nothing left to say. She knows it. I can see her knowing it.

"You look happy," she finally manages. "With him."

She means Ronan. Is she right? Is thishappy,what I feel when he listens?

"I look like myself," I say. "For the first time in a long time."

Paula's chin trembles. She nods, one small jerk of her head, and with that, fifteen years of friendship dies on the spot. With her makeup running and mine perfectly in place.

"Goodbye, Paula," I say.

She opens her mouth. I think she's going to say my name again. Instead, she just nods once more and turns, and she hurries away through the crowd. The people don't part for her, and nobody stops her, and nobody looks. She just gets smaller and smaller until she's swallowed up for good.

When she's gone, I look down at my wrist. The little gold octopus catches the chandelier light. Even now, it makes me smile.

Behind me, the side doors open. I turn.

Ronan comes through them alone. His tuxedo is perfect. His hair is perfect. His face is calm and easy. There's no sign of Todd, but I don't ask. Some things aren't for me to know.

He crosses the room to me, and he takes in my face, my subtle smile.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say. "I really am."

He glances in the direction Paula went, then back at me. "You didn't need me for that one."

"No," I say. "I handled it myself."