Anger and dread culminated inside her, turning into a whirling vortex of frenzied fear. “No!” she shouted, shaking. How could she not have seen that Edward was right about Julian? Julian had seduced her as a distraction to Edward. He would have done anything to win. How could she have been so wrong about Julian? “You wanted to win! You would do anything to win!”
“What?” Julian stopped, confused, rain dripping from his brow.
“You did this on purpose. You hurt Edward to win!”
“You can’t possibly believe that.” He stepped toward her with his arms outstretched.
Elora put up a hand to stop him, her voice catching in her throat. “No. Stay away.”
“Elora,” he pleaded.
She was grateful it was raining. She couldn’t tell if tears or rain moistened her cheeks. “I thought you were better than they were. I thought you were honorable and chivalrous. But you just wanted to win.”
Julian straightened.
“You got what you wanted. You are champion. Now stay away from my family and me,” she gasped a ragged breath and turned, racing across the field. She slipped once but righted herself and continued after Edward. She wiped at her eyes; her chest heaved. She felt betrayed and foolish. How could she not have seen? Julian was just like every other knight. He was not the man she wanted him to be, not the man she expected him to be. He was not a gallant knight.
Julian was just like the rest of them.
Chapter Twenty Three
Julian watched Elora trudge through the thick mud, his body and mind numb. The rain pelted him, dripping from every part of his body. Even the pain in his shoulder seemed a distant throbbing. How could she believe that of him? In his mind, he heard his father’s words. “You are worthless.” And he was if he couldn’t convince the woman he loved that he was honorable.
Baldwin was right. He couldn’t win if he always thought of her. Defeating a champion and winning this tourney were his dreams. His destiny. It shouldn’t matter what Elora thought of him. He shouldn’t care about what others thought of him, especially some pampered, spoiled, rich, beautiful, lovely woman. His shoulders sagged.
But it did matter. It always had.
“Julian!”
He didn’t want to look away from her. Even her retreating back was worth his full attention. Agony pierced his body as if an arrow had hit him. She thought of him the same way his father did.
“Julian.” Gilbert stepped up beside him. “Come on. Off the field. Other jousts need to proceed.”
Julian nodded and reluctantly followed Gilbert, casting one last look after Elora.
“You’re the winner,” Gilbert said with restrained enthusiasm.
Julian looked at him, shocked. That fact slowly dawned on him. Hehadwon. He was an undefeated champion. He was one step closer to becoming the winner of the tourney.
His arm burned where Edward had hit it twice, but that was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. He didn’t feel like a champion.
Many knights braved the deluge to stop by Julian’s tent and congratulate him. He was more popular than he had ever been, even more than after Elora had given him her favor. After all, he had defeated a knight considered undefeatable. He would be one of the knights jousting for the championship joust tomorrow. He greeted all the visiting knights with false bravado. He let them slap his back and grasp his arm tightly. He took their good intentions with a smile. But it was a smile he didn’t feel. A smile that didn’t reach his soul.
After the congratulations, other questions began. How did he intend to win the championship joust on Thursday? Whose side was he fighting on in the melee? He couldn’t answer; it was almost as if his brain wouldn’t function. He had not thought past defeating Edward. It was all he had wanted, all he had desired. Until Ellie.
Gilbert shooed them all out of the tent. Once they were gone, he looked at Julian. “What’s wrong with you? Were you hit in the head?”
Julian sat heavily on his straw mattress. “No.” His gaze fell on Baldwin’s empty spot. Baldwin was right to leave. He was no champion.
He felt something wet and soft in his hands and looked down. He was surprised to see he was holding the favor Elora had given him. It glistened like her tears and tore at his heart. “I thought you were better than they were,” her voice chimed in his head. He gritted his teeth, forcing the burning agony from his eyes. He ran his fingers over the fabric again and again. “She thought I caused Edward’s injury on purpose.”
Gilbert stared at him.
“She believes I reined Storm into Edward’s horse to win.” Devastation lay waste to his heart. His lips turned down in a heavy pout.
Gilbert shook his head. “You can’t blame her for thinking so. That’s all she knows. Knights who break lances to win. Those nobles, knights or nay, use bribes and dirty tricks to win jousts. Look at her own brother.”
Julian lifted a confused stare to Gilbert. “Edward jousted honorably.”
