There was such finality to his voice that Finn was taken aback. Had he seen them kissing in the stairway? Was that the reason for his anger? Finn shoved the steel into the forge and turned to Lord Walter. His instinct was to nod and agree with anything his lord said. But this time, it was different. “Why?”
Lord Walter’s brows rose. “It is no insult to you. You are a fine man. But not good enough for my daughter. Arianna deserves a lord of her status, a man who can protect her and give her heirs.”
Finn’s lips thinned. The only thing he couldn’t do was be of her status. “She opened the contest to all men.”
“And I am telling you not to enter. Do not give her a gift. I will not allow you to become her husband.”
Stunned and hurt, Finn stared. His eyes burned with rage and hurt, reflecting a brokenness he had never experienced before. Lord Walter spun on his heel and departed the smithy.
Chapter Six
That night, Finn sat at the forge, twisting a hot piece of metal in an attempt to shut out Lord Walter’s command. He had been hoping to distract himself with his work, but instead, he found himself surrounded by thoughts of Ari. No matter how hard he tried, Lord Walter’s words echoed through his mind— “Do not give her a gift.” He lifted the horse and stared at the metal sculpture. How could he not enter the contest and allow Ari to wed another? And yet, how could he ignore his lord’s command?
Conrad entered and stopped behind him, studying the horse in Finn’s hands. “That’s amazing,” Conrad said in awe.
Finn quickly cradled it protectively and returned it to its resting place on the shelf.
“All those nights of work have certainly paid off. You’re sure to win the contest,” Conrad commented, picking up Finn’s untouched bread and sniffing it. His lips turned down in a grimace of distaste, and he set it back.
“I’m not entering,” Finn stated.
Shocked, Conrad raised his eyes to Finn. His mouth opened and closed, and his brow furrowed. “Why?”
Finn used tongs to retrieve a piece of metal from the forge and shoved it into the water where it hissed violently. “I’m not good enough for her.” It was Lord Walter’s words.
Conrad nodded. “Well, that’s true. You’re not. But she wants you.”
Finn clenched his jaw, avoiding his brother’s gaze. Lord Walter’s words had planted the seeds of doubt in Finn’s mind. Finn wanted nothing more than to be with Ari. He wanted her to be happy, but he wasn’t sure he could provide the life she deserved.
Conrad shook his head and then shrugged. “It’s your decision. But you should have seen the way she looked for you at the evening meal. Whenever I saw her, she was searching the hall.”
“Maybe she wasn’t looking for me.”
Conrad grinned that taunting smile Finn had seen many times growing up. “She was looking for you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because as the evening progressed, she appeared sad. And disappointed. And lonely.”
Finn felt his words prick his heart like the stings of a bee. “Maybe she wanted to find her father.”
“He sat beside her.”
Finally, Finn whirled on him, angry for making him feel guilty. “There are a million other things she could have wanted to locate. A dog. A dessert. A minstrel. How do you know she was looking for me?”
Conrad tilted his head. “Because she asked me.”
Finn had stepped into that trap. Of course, Ari had asked Conrad where he was. He turned away, swiping the head of the hammer clean with a cloth.
“Like I said, it’s your decision. But if you’re not entering the contest, I think Ari deserves an explanation.”
Finn knew he was right. Ari deserved an answer. She deserved to know why he wasn’t entering the contest. And why he wasn’t going to fight for her. And that broke his heart. “She deserves better,” he whispered.
“You are enough,” Conrad replied and headed up the stairs.
Finn finished cleaning up, his heart torn. Obviously, Lord Walter didn’t think he was enough. Still, every instinct he had told him to enter the contest. He turned to the horse on the shelf. When he had crafted it, it wasn’t to win her heart but simply to welcome her home and see her smile. Now, it was a reminder of his downfalls. He sighed before blowing out the candle for the night.
Finn stood before the castle gates at midday the following day, hesitating. He knew what he had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier. Telling Ari he wouldn’t participate in the contest felt like a betrayal. His heart pounded in his chest. He knew he was letting her down. As he entered the busy outer ward, he couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was falling apart. The sun shone brightly outside, but inside Finn’s heart, everything was dark.
