She rested her chin on her knees. “No, you’re not. It’s the easy thing to do.”
“What would you have me do? Go against my lord’s order? Enter the contest anyway? Defy him?” There was anger in his voice.
She chuckled sadly. “Yes. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have to ask me what to do.” She stood. “You would have known.”
He opened his mouth, but his voice caught in his throat. His eyes were filled with anguish.
She stared out over the field. “The field was covered in flowers last time I was here. I had hope. I knew that everything would turn out well. But now…” She shook her head. “The ground is dead. Frozen.” She looked at him. “There is no hope.”
Tears rose in her eyes. She could not be near Finn any longer. It was just too painful.
She turned toward Charming. The horse lifted his head as she approached. A red-hot poker seemed to rip through her chest, searing her heart until it felt as if it would burst into a million pieces. Her lower lip quivered uncontrollably as the icy grip of loneliness and despair consumed her. Finn was her best friend, the only man she had ever loved. She had thought they would be together forever. Now, she realized that was never going to happen, and an abyss of darkness unfolded before her.
Finn trailed Ari back to the castle to make sure she got back safely. Then he returned to the smithy. His sleep-deprived body felt drained of energy while his heart fought a furious internal battle between what he wanted and what he should do. She deserved someone of her status—not him. He wasn’t good enough for her. What did he have to offer her?
He felt the weight of his sorrow crushing him from all sides, his muscles aching with despair.
Yet how could he give her up?
The wind began to howl outside. The Yule was almost here.
The door opened, and Conrad entered, breathing hard. “Did you find her?”
Finn nodded and stood in the center of the shop, lost. He spoke his doubt aloud. “I can’t go against Lord Walter’s order.”
Conrad scowled in confusion. “I guess not.”
“I don’t want to end up in the dungeon.”
“He wouldn’t throw you into the dungeon!” Conrad objected.
Finn turned to meet Conrad’s gaze. “He told me not to enter the contest.”
Conrad’s eyebrows rose, and his eyes widened in surprise.
Finn removed the horse he had made for Ari from the shelf. It was perfect. Beautiful. And now, after all those years of working on it, he couldn’t give it to her. Shouldn’t give it to her. He drew his arm back, ready to throw it into the forge.
But he froze.
“You’d win with that,” Conrad said.
Finn glanced down at the horse, a heavy weariness in his heart. He trailed a finger along the head. The neck was decorated with a wreath of tiny, perfect roses. They were Ari’s favorite flower. He had worked so hard on it, and every time he looked at it, it reminded him of Ari.
“You love her,” Conrad said softly.
Startled, Finn lifted his stare to him. He felt a sinking feeling in his gut as the truth hit him: he had always loved her.
Conrad chuckled quietly and headed for the stairway. “I thought you knew that.” He walked up the stairs to his chamber.
Finn turned to the forge in indecision and sadness, watching the glowing embers sizzle.
The door opened behind him.
His brow furrowed as he wondered why someone would require assistance at such an odd hour. He turned to find himself face-to-face with Kage. Before he could blink, a piece of wood swung through the air and connected solidly with the side of his head. Pain seared through him as everything went dark.
Chapter Eight
Ari knew Finn would no longer cometo the evening meals, but she still found herself searching. Her throat tightened, and her eyes misted with tears at the thought of him, yet she pushed the tears down. She had to keep living, though it wasn’t the same without him.
