When she was here, there was only light. In the day. In the night. Bruno and Ihad become addicted to it.
Chapter 25
Elowen
“Can I adopt a dog?” I ask Ma and Pa.
They nod instantly.
“You can adopt two if it makes you happy,” Ma says, smiling.
I smile back. “One is enough.”
I return to my dinner.
I try not to let my grandparents see that I’m not happy, but they notice anyway. After Mom and Dad leave, I come to Pa’s countryside house. My parents wanted me to go with them to DC, but I needed to be alone. IfI go and they catch me crying, my mom will drag me to therapy. And she’s a psychologist—I’d have no way to talk my way out of it.
I’m slowly learning to hide my feelings. It’ll still take time.
After dinner, I go to my room and sit at my desk. I pull out the gray journal where I’ve started writing letters to him. Sometime after the second day, I convinced myself this isn’t the end.We’ll meet again.
My logical brain knows I’m being delusional. But this is the only way I can keep the crushing weight of separation from my heart—by hypnotizing myself into believing that somehow, someday, he’ll give up his revenge against Uncle. And somehow, my family will forgive him for kidnapping me.
There will be a happy ending for us.
And when that happens, I’ll give him this journal, so he can read everything I wanted to say to him every day, but the distance between us wouldn’t allow.
Hey love,
Merry Christmas Eve! I hope you and Bruno are celebrating—not holed up in your separate wings with matching scowls.
Today I asked Ma and Pa if I could adopt a dog. They said yes. I want to steal Bruno from you, but I won’t be that cruel. I know you need him. So tomorrow, I’ll bring home a little female husky. She’ll beBruno’s little sister. And you’ll help me convince him to accept her and love her.
Tomorrow everyone will come here to spend Christmas together. But still, I’ll miss you most. I won’t stop imagining you here with me.
Your Elowen
I close the notebook and slide it into the drawer.
My smile fades as reality shakes me.
What if it never happens? What if he never realizes I’m not Avi and hates me forever? What if he never lets go of his revenge? What if I was never important enough to him? What if it really was just one-sided?
My eyes burn. I look up at the ceiling, pressing my lips together. The air starts to suffocate me again.
No, Wen. That’s not possible.
I start the process again, the ritual of keeping myself from unraveling.
Remember that night in his bed—how he held you, the things he said. He feels something for you.
He’ll realize you’re not Avi when he watches her, even out of curiosity.
He’ll let go of his revenge. Everyone does. In every story, the man gives up his revenge when he gets the girl.
There will be a happy ending for us.
I rise from the chair and collapse onto the bed.
