I tried to sound casual, but talking about them tightened my chest in ways I didn’t expect.
A question hovered behind her stare. She searched my face, and though she looked troubled, she decided to press. ‘Were you close?’
This was not something I felt comfortable discussing with his mother—the woman he believed dead and hadn’t seen in a decade. Not that I would have liked to discuss it under any other circumstances either.
The pause between us stretched uncomfortably as we both stared ahead, searching for a way forward.
It was she who finally cooed, ‘I apologise; I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I’m just happy to learn what they’ve been up to.’
‘The war is still wreaking havoc on your people,’ I admitted. ‘But I helped them with cleanses for the curses, so at leastsome of your soldiers have a chance of becoming themselves again. And Blaze.’
Her eyes widened as she assessed me in a new light. ‘Blaze? He was cursed? And you helped with the cl— You’re a witch?’
‘A halfling,’ I admitted.
‘A halfling?’ she echoed, disbelief deepening on her face with every second.
I hoped my race and nationality wouldn’t turn her against me. ‘Yes. I’m Ortensian. And of shadow, since recently.’
‘Ortensian? And they trusted you in our court?’ she mused, mostly to herself, a faint smile of amusement touching her lips. ‘That’s peculiar.’
‘It’s not even half of it,’ I said lightly. ‘My life’s become a cautionary tale lately. I might elaborate one day.’
A genuine smile spread across her lips. ‘I would like that.’
Careful not to make promises I couldn’t keep, I offered her one that resonated deeply with my plans. ‘Listen, I realise you have no reason to believe me, but I will train my shadows, and we will escape together.’
‘Escape?’ Alec’s voice cut through the air, anger lacing every word.
People needed to stop sneaking up on me.
‘This is your home!’ he spat. ‘Father kidnapped her, yes. It’s horrible, but we’re not all like that. We deserve a chance!’
Though I wanted to disagree because Alec had kidnapped me too, I knew the situation was different. I hadn’t meant for my private promise of reprieve to offend anyone.
‘Alec, you know it’s not that simple…’ I began.
Before I could answer, shadows exploded around him, and he vanished.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Avari
Balancing family tension with my own stubborn opinions and impulses proved as exhausting as it was necessary. Recently, it seemed that regardless of what happened, somebody ended up resentful or hurt. And though I was slowly getting used to the turmoil, I hated standing on the hilt side of the blade that sliced through Alec’s heart.
The hurt in his eyes was palpable. He despised the allusion that they’d kidnapped me to the shadow isles. Yet as much as I tried to attach reasoning to their actions, it remained what it was: a kidnapping. We never had a conversation about their preference for my move, nor did they ever inform me who they were before Alec snatched me away from the only place I’d started to view as a sanctuary at the time.
No matter how many excuses they made, no one ever asked what I wanted. If there was one thing I’d learnt over the past few weeks, it was that if I didn’t prioritise my mental wellness, nobody else would either. And though it would be hard, with a long road ahead—and likely the help of aseasoned therapist—it was as if a weight started to lift off my shoulders when I realised I wasn’t responsible for other people’s feelings.
I would always try my best to minimise the chance of offending anybody, but I was starting to understand that hiding myself behind false pleasantries wreaked more havoc than good. And so, I would speak to Alec. I would confront him and force him to see my side of the story because I would not let anyone belittle my struggles and traumas anymore.
I hesitated at the door before knocking, waiting for a response. The silence stretched long enough for second thoughts to creep in.
‘Come in,’ his withdrawn tone vexed me a little as I pushed on the handle and walked in. He was lying on his bed, arms crossed deliberately. I had no doubt it was his way of showing me he was still mad.
‘I think we need to talk,’ I announced seriously, the warmth that usually enriched my voice gone at his display of callousness.
Surprise flashed in his eyes as he sat up and assessed me. ‘About your overwhelming gratitude for bringing you home?’
