Frowning, he clarified, ‘Okay, let me reframe that. Have I done anything like that recently?’
‘No.’
He grinned. ‘Then stop this foolishness and get your arse through that portal.’
A warm hand gently pushed on my lower back, reducing my distance to the swirling abyss of heatless energy that was meant to take us there.
There was no time for any more worries as I took the step forward and met the flickering flames, delicately coating my skin in unreachable molten glass. It grew and expanded, wrapping around me like a second skin, shimmering and untouchable.
Then it fizzled out, leaving only a low hum as a reminder of the threshold I had crossed into a place I had no desire to go.
Just before my foot touched the ground, my skin began to prickle with static and heat, preparing me for a change of location and scenery.
Stepping over that threshold, dry ash whipped across my face, the only greeting the new land offered, as I covered it with my hands, trying to shield from the sudden assault.
‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry!’ a frantic woman screeched before assisting me in removing the dirt from my eyes. The itch and burn only increased the more my attacker tried to wipe it away.
‘What the hell?’ River nearly bumped into me, shocked at the scene before him. ‘What happened?’
‘I thought that was your grandfather, River. You should have told me you were coming,’ she screeched.
Stepping beside me, he gently pushed the woman away and began blowing air into my face to clean it. ‘Gods above, Grandma, you are a lunatic.’
The woman screamed, ‘Watch your language, child. Be mated for as long as I’ve been, and I will let you judge me.’
‘Not sure that you’re making a compelling case for getting mated at all,’ he sneered, before getting back to me. ‘Are your eyes any better?’
Before I had a chance to respond, the woman butted in, ‘Excuse me, I’ve lived with that man for longer than your and your siblings’ lifespans combined. When I tell you he deserved it, it means he—’
She stopped abruptly and hurled even more ash in the general direction of the portal.
‘What the hell are you doing, woman?’ An older man stepped out, his chest covered in dirt like my face was.
He assessed my state and smiled. ‘I see you have met my batshit crazy wife.’
The woman saw red and, with a flick of her wrist, set the bottom part of his jeans on fire. He used his own to fizzle it out.
‘You see what I’ve got to put up with?’ he sighed, turning to River. ‘I forget to get milk, and this is what awaits me.’
Fury barely contained, the woman raged, ‘You’ve burnt half my wardrobe down!’
‘Accidentally.’ His grandfather lifted his hands in a placating gesture. ‘I can’t help it; I have allergies. One sneeze and it all went ka boom. You’d think, as the former Fire Queen, she’d wear clothes that are less flammable.’
‘You—’
‘Okaaay. Enough.’ River ran a hand through his hair. ‘So, the girl you just blinded is Princess Ava, and we’re heading off to train. When we come back, can you behave like people who are at least partially mentally stable? Thanks.’
The second we stepped out, I looked at River, a million anecdotes swirling in my mind, most of them laced with disbelief and a healthy dose of ridicule.
Just as I prepared to voice at least some of them, the king dropped to one knee and, covering his face, burst into laughter.
Full-bodied, shoulders-shaking, breathless laughter that echoed off the stone walls like a spell gone wrong.
I blinked, stunned by his audacity. ‘What part are you laughing at exactly?’
River tried to speak but failed, waving a hand as if that would explain everything. Between gasps, he finally managed, ‘You, your face, when she threw the ash, and then she just did it again.’
I ran a hand over my face once more, feeling the powdery substance still coating my complexion. ‘Ha. Very funny.’
