He went on about how powerful wielders could generate darkness, while those less gifted could only command the existing shadows from the nooks and crannies most people never noticed.
Fighting a shadow-wielder was fighting the world itself; darkness was everywhere, threading through every corner.
Chapter Forty-Two
Avari
Frustration. By definition, it is the feeling of upset born from the inability to reach a target, a feeling that had haunted me all my life and even more so for the past hour as my father and brother cheered me on to cook up some shadows.
Anger, by definition, is an emotion characterised by hostility, and that was exactly what simmered beneath my skin as they showed off their abilities with little effort.
Disappointed in myself and my failures through the past few days of training, I feared they were right. Maybe I shared their blood. I just didn’t share their abilities.
‘Listen, Ava. I get it; it’s difficult, much more difficult than at a younger age when one doesn’t yet have any preconceived notions about power. I believe that is what is blocking you from the darkness. You are trying too hard to understand something that must be felt.’
Yet again, I was doing something wrong. ‘How do I reach for something I do not understand nor feel?’
‘Youcan’t.’ Alec chimed in, chasing his stray dog with coils of velvety black clouds. As helpful as always.
I blew air through my nose, pinching the bridge as if it could give me patience. ‘Well then, sorry to waste your time. I might be your daughter, but I am not a shadow-wielder.’
The lord rebutted, ‘Don’t be absurd; I would not have sensed you if you weren’t one of the shadows.’ The palm of his hand outstretched in my direction, he nodded towards it. ‘Here. Connect.’
‘What?’ Did I hear him right? Parents usually exchanged with their offspring for training purposes, but that happened when they were children. As adults, it would just be odd.
‘Feel my shadows, you will know what to look for in yourself. Come on.’ He grasped our hands together, waiting for my decision. He was eager, happy to do this for me.
Should I even attempt it?
They might be my family, but trust didn’t come that easily. Although they treated me kindly, I still felt ashamed to admit I didn’t fully trust them with my life or my power, which could be drained and leave me lifeless. But as I looked at my father, offering himself to help me, I realised he could have the same fears. That I might drain him instead. Yet he waited, hand encasing mine, guiding me into the shadows.
It wasn’t easy, not after so many betrayals, but I slowly released my fire and green to meet his darkness. Reluctant at first, my flames hissed at his shadows before they finally settled like two predators forced to share a cage.
The connection felt different to when I had done it with River; colder. The darkness itself was strange, like a warm pool of void that allowed its wielder to decide what it would become. Unlike my fire, a force born only to burn, the shadows offered endless possibilities, a craft of creation and concealment.
It reminded me of witchcraft: my green power thrived on connection, but this darkness seemed to thrive in disconnect,a blissful silence and solitude that felt freeing, though not lonely.
Letting go of my father’s hand, I couldn’t ignore the sorrow that followed. The brief link only added to the growing list of things my heart yearned for. I was never power-hungry, but as I sharpened my senses to summon a pool of my own rich black, nothing greeted me.
Frowning and cursing under my breath, it was all I could do to avoid my father’s pitiful gaze.
‘You’ll get there, love.’ He patted my back before heading toward Alec.
It seemed I had looked pathetic enough, so they decided to leave me alone, or maybe they assumed I had performance anxiety. Either way, they left, and as I focused harder than ever, I saw only one path left.
The land itself would instruct me.
Hands sinking into the dark grass, I let my witchcraft roam before directing it toward the pulsing essence of the isle beneath my feet. The earth vibrated, electric in the air, feeding the fields with steady bursts of energy.
It brimmed with life, though at first it shied from my touch, as if surprised by such sudden attention. I almost laughed at the game of hide and seek we played. Before long, weighing the risks, I let my green dive deeper into the roots of the Isles.
The divine river of life and earth welcomed me, toying with my power as a child toys with something curious. It pulled and stretched, but never enough to hurt.
It was learning me as I was learning it.
Power to power, the sentient land guided me through the depths of its home: the caves; the cities; the villages and lakes; the monsters and the wildlife; and the living and the dead resting in cemeteries and beyond.
I wondered why I had never connected with any other land to such depth before. As if understanding, the Islesdragged me further down to its core, revealing a thrashing inferno of light-blue life force that had always been there, though never seen. The message was clear: dig deeper in my connections and in my shadow-wielding.
