Physical intimacy itself wasn’t new to me. Two hundred years was a long enough time to collect memories, relationships, mistakes, and regrets. Long enough that very little should have felt surprising anymore. Yet somehow, this did.
Conrad knew exactly what I was. He knew about the blood. He knew about the fangs.
He knew about the centuries I’d spent running from one life to the next, leaving before anyone could ask too many questions. He knew the ugliest parts of my history. And yet, he hadn’t stepped away.
If anything, it had only brought him closer.
For so long, I’d convinced myself that love required distance. That the people I cared about would always be safer if I kept part of myself hidden. It had become second nature. A habit so old I rarely noticed I was doing it.
With Conrad, there was nowhere left to hide.
Oddly, I didn’t want to hide anymore.
Curled against him, wrapped in his warmth, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.Safe.
I’d always lived with one foot pointed at the door. Every friendship, every relationship, had come with an expiration date attached. This didn’t.
I could imagine a future without immediately searching for the exit. A future that included Conrad and the children. Family dinners. Arguments over homework. All the ordinary little pieces of life I’d spent so long pretending I didn’t want.
The thought should have terrified me. Instead, it was a relief. Like setting down a burden I’d carried for so long that I’d forgotten it was there. I wasn’t thinking about what I might lose and, instead, was thinking about what I finally had.
It was scary to realize how much I was already becoming accustomed to it.
“You thinking?” His question drifted through the darkness.
I smiled against his shoulder. “Always.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
“It can be.”
His chest rumbled with a laugh. The sound made something warm unfurl inside me. It still surprised me how quickly he’d become important. This man and his three chaotic children had accomplished something no one had before I was turned. They’d become home.
Conrad shifted slightly. I felt his lips brush the top of my head. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
There was a brief pause. “Winnie.”
The way he said my name made me look up. The guard dropped from his eyes.
“What is it?” I asked.
He hesitated. Then exhaled. “I know this is fast.”
I immediately knew where this was going. My undead heart performed a thoroughly unnecessary little flutter.
“I know that compared to you I’ve basically existed for fifteen minutes.”
I laughed. “You have not.”
“I have.”
“You’ve existed for forty years.”
He nodded. “Yes, which is approximately fifteen minutes in vampire years.”
“Fair.”
