Bianca’s group was already on stage when I sat down.
My stomach dropped.
I reached my seat and sat carefully. Billie pouted at me, her arms crossed over her chest. Winnie didn’t look at me at all. That bothered me, but I told myself not to make it about me.
Bianca was singing. That was what mattered. She saw me eventually. I smiled and mouthed sorry.
She smiled back, but it was too quick.
Something uncomfortable moved through me, but I pushed it aside. I was here. I’d seen the first half. I was watching the second half. It had been difficult to get here, but I was present. Surely improvement counted for something?
After the recital, the kids came out bright and flushed. CJ acted as though the evening had been an exhausting burden that an unjust society had placed upon him, but he stayed close enough to my side that his shoulder bumped mine twice. Bianca pretended she didn’t care about praise while probably memorizing every compliment word for word.
“You nailed it,” I told her.
“It was adequate.”
“It was much better than adequate, Bianca. I heard that part where you harmonized. Beautiful.”
“Several people came in late during the second half,” she said.
My heart stuttered. “Yeah,” I said. “I noticed that.”
Her face smoothed over. “It’s okay. You saw the main part.”
“I saw you,” I said, and meant it.
She studied her feet, but she gave me a slight nod.
Before I could say anything else, CJ tugged my sleeve. “Can we get something to eat? Performing uses tremendous amounts of energy.”
Winnie stood slightly apart from us, her expression unreadable.
I turned toward the kids. “How does ice cream sound?”
CJ perked up. “At the place with the ridiculous sundaes?”
“Obviously.”
Bianca tried her best not to look pleased. “They have espresso chip.”
I shook my head. “No espresso chip for you. You’re nine.”
Billie bounced. “Can I get the one with worms?”
“Gummy worms,” I clarified.
“All worms are gummy on the inside.”
Winnie made a small sound that might have been disgust or amusement. It was difficult to tell.
The ice cream parlor was loud and warm and smelled of sugar, waffle cones, and melted chocolate. The kids piled into a booth while Winnie and I stood in line, and for a while, everything was uncomplicated.
CJ ordered something calledThe Avalanche, then began designing a fictional civilization that lived inside whipped cream mountains. Bianca opted mint chocolate chip, a safe alternative to the espresso chip. Billie ordered the gummy worm sundae and named each worm before eating them in order of imagined age.
Winnie ordered tea. I didn’t know why that surprised me.
“You’re really not getting ice cream?” I asked.
