He placed his mouth over hers as he began tomove inside her, the taste of her on his tongue exciting andstirring.She moved with him in their primal dance whose stepsthey’d made their own, their pace and rhythm quickening withurgency and need, until with one final thrust Roark shuddered andcalled out her name, a call reverberating from Alina’s core to hersoul.
She woke sometime later to his big, warm handcupping her breast, his thumb teasing her peaked nipple, and hisgrowing erection pressing against her buttocks.She sighed andwiggled her backside closer, and her sigh turned to a soft moan ashe kissed her shoulder and ran his hand down her belly and betweenher thighs.He pushed his fingers through her curls and cupped hermound.
“You’re already wet for me,” he whisperedhoarsely into her ear.
“I’m perpetually wet for you, my ruttingstag,” she murmured, pushing her pelvis into his palm.
“But this is…” He pulled his hand away andpushed up onto his elbow, holding his hand up to the low glow ofthe candle’s light.“This is blood.”
Alina rolled onto her back and stared at thestain darkening his palm.She reached down between her legs andfelt the thick, viscous discharge and smelled the coppery scent ofher blood.
“My moon-flow has come,” she said, and burstinto tears.
“Don't cry, Ali girl,” he crooned.He sat upand embraced her, running his hand up and down her back as sheburied her face into his shoulder.“There’s no need to cry.This isa good thing, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she cried into his shoulder.“No.Idon’t know.”What was wrong with her?Of course, it was a goodthing.Her being pregnant with his child would’ve complicatedthings even more than they already were.
So why did it feel as if her soul had beenripped out of her?How was it possible to mourn a child who hadnever been?To feel bereft of something she’d never had?She liftedher tear-streaked face to Roark’s.“I kn…know it’s foo…foolish ofme,” she bawled.“But I…I wanted our chiiilld.”
“I know, love,” he soothed.“I know you did.Crazy as it was, so did I.”
He held her and let her cry, whisperingsweet, tender words of love and endearment as she sobbed her heartout over the child they would never have, the love they’d have towalk away from for the sake of others.Over losing her one truelove.Her Somebody.
When she had no tears left to shed, he laidher down on the bed and gently wiped the salt of her drying tearsfrom her face with a wet washrag, kissed the tip of her nose, andhanded her the washrag to serve as a temporary bleeding rag.
“It’s coming on dawn, lass,” he murmured,leaning over her and kissing her cheek.“You should go back to yourroom before the household starts to stir.”
***
Roark stepped out of his room and almostsmack into Lady Siusan and two maidservants, one carrying a basinand ewer, and the other a stack of small absorbent cloths toAlina’s room.
“Is Alina unwell?”he asked Lady Siusan.
“She is indisposed,” she told him, “and willlikely remain so for another day or two.”
Roark eyed the basin and the bleeding cloths.“Ah, I see,” he said, acting like he’d figured out that Alina’smoon-flow had come, but not fooling the lady in the least.It wasperfect timing it happened here, instead of their long journeythrough the wilds, and before she’d set sail with a ship full ofstrange men.
But she’d been bereft, crying over a babethat was never to be.Crying over leaving him when she’d never oncecried over what had been done to her.Her sad expression when she’dleft him early this morning, assuring him she’d be fine, had beentroubling him since.“If I may ask, how is she?”
The lady of the manor gave him a stern,motherly look.“She is as well as can be expected,” she said, notexactly easing his worries.“I’ll tell her you asked afterher.”
“Thank you.”
Lady Siusan nodded and waved the maidservantson.
“Lady Siusan,” he called.She stopped andlooked over her shoulder.“Will you give her my love, please?”
The lady’s stern expression softened.“Ofcourse.”She stepped up to him and lowered her voice to a whisper.“Shall I tell her to expect you tonight?”
“I, ah, um.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Roark was still shaking his head as he walkeddown the stairs to a mostly empty dining hall and grabbed a pieceof bread, a slice of cold mutton, and a handful of cherries fromthe serving table, eating them as he strolled over to the stableswhere he found Cullen feeding Etain carrots.
“My mother said Lady Alina wasn’t feelingwell today,” he told Roark, “so I’m making sure Etain gets hertreats.”
“That’s verra considerate of you,” Roarksaid.He grabbed two carrots from the bucket and fed one to Beasty.“I’m sure Alina will appreciate it almost as much as Etain.”He fedBeasty the other carrot and sent out a prayer to thebogloshadi,the horse gods Alina had told him about, for Artur’shealing and safe return.“I was going to let Etain and Beasty outin the paddock for a bit,” he said.“Would you like to help me withthem?”
