“How could I?” To my utter humiliation, tears spring to my eyes. “I knew enough of what you were into, the spankings and such, to know I’d never be what you wanted. What you needed. But I loved you too much to let you go, so I turned a blind eye to your Monday-night extracurriculars.”
Bash winces. “You knew?”
“Of course I knew, Bash. I’m not a moron.”
Shaking his head, he snorts out a bitter laugh. “Clearly I am, because I had no clue. Is it safe to assume that your Wednesday girl nights are actually…?”
“Yes. I joined a club a couple years ago.The Velvet Collar.”
A ghost of a smile curves his lips. “Restraint.”
It’s my turn to snort. “That dump? Really, Sebastian?”
“You would have preferred for me to join one of the more upscale clubs where our friends might see me?”
He has a point. And really,Restraintisn’t a dump, it’s just not as posh as some of the other clubs around town.
Reaching for me, he twines our hands together, his thumb brushing over mine. “How long have you and Junie been playing together?”
“Our first scene was about four months ago. We’ve been having weekly play nights for a little over two months. You?”
“Nearly six months.”
Silence stretches between us, oddly more comfortable than back home before we left for our surprise date. The memory has me smiling despite myself and I narrow my eyes at him.
“I wasted a blowjob on you.”
My comment startles a laugh out of my husband. “What?”
“I went down on you this morning because I was feeling guilty about my date with Junie. Clearly I was the only one feeling some kind of way about it.”
“Oh, baby.” Tugging on my hand, he pulls me into him. I go, reluctantly, but I need to feel him, need to know we’re stillus. “The guilt has been eating me up inside for years. And this morning… I almost called it off a dozen times.”
“But you didn’t.” Neither did I, so I really don’t have a leg to stand on. But I can’t help pushing.
“I didn’t,” he says softly. “I… I don’t want to hurt you, Val.”
“Just say it.”
I already know. Even before he says the words Iknow.
“What I have with Junie is… different. I’ve never felt like this with another Little girl.”
A lump lodges in my throat. “I know what you mean. She’s something, isn’t she?”
“She is. But Val, you have to know how fucking much I love you. If you want me to walk away right now, if you want me to cancel my membership, I will. I’ll leave it all for you.”
Is that what I want? For the two of us to live the rest of our lives growing old together but never quite whole?
And what happens in a month, six months, a year, when we both get that itch again? Do we go back to sneaking around behind each other's backs?
More importantly, what happens to Junie? What happens to our sweet babygirl who did nothing wrong but fall for two people who don’t deserve her?
“What I want,” I start slowly, choosing my words carefully, “is for you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Bash.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you too. So what do we do?”
My pulse kicks up, hammering through my veins as I push up to look him in the eye. “Well, I don’t know about you, but whatIwant to do right now is go get my Little girl and teach her a lesson about playing tricks on her Mommy and Daddy.”
