“That just means that I didn’t really, really love that person if that’s the case,” when he said that, it caused my throat to tighten even more.
I bit onto my bottom lip, dropped my head in shame, as reality sat in that Jacob probably didn’t love me half as much as I loved him. Remember, men understood men. This had to be a harsh reality what Gemini just told me.
“You really think so?” with my head dropped in shame, that was my follow up question.
“That’s the only answer that really makes the most sense to me. If I devoted time into going to pre- marital counseling with a woman, I’m talking about having children with this woman, planning our future, what the fuck does any of that matter if I clocked out on you a week before the wedding? If I love someone as much as I claim I do, I ain’t got it in me to break a woman’s heart like that. How can I love you if I walked away from the future mother of my children? The woman that I’ve pillow talked at night with about our future?” he asked me, and through my tears, I nodded.
It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I needed it. It was starting to make a little bit more sense to me on how Jacob was able to just give up on me so easily.
“I’ll be honest with you, Amina. I haven’t been in many relationships. I’ve only romantically loved two women before. When a man loves a woman, I’ll be honest, we’ll make mistakes. Mistakes are when we forget something. We may forget to send flowers to your job. A mistake is when we become complacent. A mistake is me saying something to you earlier in the day that was a little aggressive, that might have hurt your feelings, but I didn’t know until you brought it to my attention. Shit like that are mistakes, Amina. This shit you just told me about this nigga isn’t a mistake though. It was intentional. You don’t call off a fuckin wedding on accident,” he paused for a second, and then he walked over to me, so that he could be just a little closer.
“He didn’t just wake up and call the wedding off. Nah, he’s been thinking about it. He’s been sitting in that shit. He already had his mind made up. It was just him trying to come up with the perfect time to put it on you,” he finished, and I nodded to that, agreeing.
“When you put it like that, I guess you’re right. The reason he called the wedding off is because his childhood friend came back into town. They went to different colleges, and after college, both pretty much went on to live their lives without each other. When him and I had the talk, he told me that she moved back to London about two months before. He had been sneaking behind my back, meting up with her. With the time that they had been spending, I guess feelings came back on both ends. So yeah, he had time to think about it, sit in it, and make up his mind. Ultimately, he ended up choosing her,” I went on to say, going to just leave it at that because this was such a hard acceptance. It was a tough conversation to have.
Gemini sat next to me on the bed. He kept a good distance though. For a while, he had been looking down, but he eventually turned his head to look at me. I turned, so that I could look at him as well.
“Real shit, you don’t deserve that. I won’t lie, you get on my nerves man. The fuckin crying, your slick ass mouth, and your ability to challenge me are all things on why I say that you get on my nerves. Even so, you don’t deserve that. I have a sister, and hearing you say what he did to you, makes me think about a nigga doing that shit to my sister, especially since I know that becoming a wife has always been a goal for Gianna. I’ll be ready to pull up and beat a nigga ass for breaking my sisters heart like that,” he told me, and even though I was still feeling sad, I was able to smile at the last part of his statement.
“My grandma used to tell people, ‘be mindful of who you give your tears to’. She used to say that tears were expensive. Knowing that, don’t spend your tears on people who didn’t consider your feelings and went out of their way to hurt you. Cry for that nigga if he was taken away from you. Meaning, somebody probably killed his ass. Cry for him if life had just gotten in the way, and you both decided to call the wedding off, but don’t sit here crying for a man who had to decide whether it should be you, or another woman, and he chose the other woman. A man like that not worth your tears,” he finished, and when he put it like that, I kind of got it together from there.
Wiping the last of my tears, I felt a little better.
“Thank you for telling me what I needed to hear,” I said, and like it wasn’t a big thing to him, he waved me off.
“It’s cool. You good now? Can I get some sleep? We headed for Georgia in the morning. I have multiple pickups and drop offs out there. We’ll be in Georgia for a few days,” let me know.
“I’m cool. Even if I cry again, I’ll make sure that you don’t hear me,” I let him know, backing up from him a little bit, so that I could go for the head of the bed.
With a shake of his head, he stood up, pulled up his sweats that were hanging off his waist a little bit, and he looked down at me.
“Goodnight, Amina,” he let out.
“Goodnight, Gemini,” I responded, and from there, he cut the light off, hopped up in the bed above me, so he could go to sleep.
Almost five minutes later, I could hear him snoring. I don’t know if all these emotions that I was battling with right now had gone to my brain, messing with the way that I thought, but hearing Gemini’s snores caused me to smile. I don’t know. His snores weren’t loud though. Like, it wasn’t obnoxious, where I would want to place the pillow over my head, trying to drown out his snores. They were soft. Very soft and steady. I’ll even go as far as saying that it was comforting too. Peaceful, if I might add. Life was giving him everything that he wanted, which is why he was able to sleep so comfortably.
God, I envied that. I can’t tell you the last time that I found comfort in sleeping. These days, whenever I fell asleep, it was because my body was literally breaking down, forcing me to close my eyes, and get a break. I wanted to one day be able to sleep as comfortable as him. I’m sure it’ll come though.
In the meantime, I turned on my side, pulling the blanket over me, hoping to God that tomorrow was a much better day for me. With all the emotions that I went through today, I deserved a better tomorrow.
Chapter 5
Gemini Black
It was a little after six in the evening, and we were in bumper-to-bumper traffic. We made it to Georgia early this morning. I was up by six. To tell you the truth, I really don’t know if Amina went to sleep because when I got up, her ass was up too. I took her through the same steps as last night, where we had to go back inside the truck stop, so that we could shower, and handle our business in there. Just like the other times, she didn’t want anything to eat, but I still wasted money and got something for her anyways. She did grab a coffee though. She also went over to one of the bookstores that was at the main building, and picked up a couple of books, and magazines.
We hopped on the road a little after seven this morning, and arrived in Valdosta at 9:00 A.M. I spent a lot of time in Valdosta because I had multiple pick- ups and drops offs. Not all the cars that I was hauling were going to the same place. Some spots were businesses like yesterday in Orlando, but then other spots were pulling up on actual customers at their homes. Doing all the vehicle inspections at both the pickup and drop off is what took up most of the time. Plus, the paperwork.
After spending a few hours in Valdosta, I made my way to Tifton. I didn’t spend too much time in Tifton though. Justunder two hours. I only had two drop offs in that part of Georgia. I took a break there and grabbed something to eat.
We left Tifton and headed into Cordele. Shit was a little different in Cordele. You really didn’t see luxury car dealerships how I would see them back in Miami, or Orlando. Whenever I came out here, which was rare, I was often delivering to a customer. This afternoon, I delivered to a single woman, that had a massive home, sitting on big acres of land. Amina didn’t get out of the truck when I delivered, so she didn’t hear the crazy, off the wall shit that the woman was saying to me, trying to get me to come in the house with her for a meal. I’m telling you, being on this road, I’ve ran into some crazy ass women that were willing to sell their souls for a piece of this dick.
A goofy nigga would have fallen for the bait though at that delivery in Cordele. You could tell from the brand-new Bentley that I delivered to her, plus her home, that she had money. I didn’t fall for it though. I delivered her car, did the inspection, finished the paperwork, logged it, and made my money. Left Cordele, and here I was in Macon. I had two deliveries that I already finished up here, and now I was en route to another truck stop location, where the plan was to call it a night there.
After today, tomorrow belonged to me. No pickups, or deliveries. I try to set my schedule up, where I have two days on, and then I’ll take a day off. On that day off, that’s typically when I would get a workout in outside of the truck, and really just chill out. I liked to get on the grill and cook dinner that’ll last me for the next two days that I went on. I even had a portable Blackstone griddle, that I liked to pull out as well. So far, Amina’s only saw when I would get food at restaurants, or at the truck stop, but I promise I didn’t do that shit every day. Nah, it was just convenient, but it wasn’t what I always preferred. I grew up on home cooked meals. If my mama wasn’t cooking, then my stepdad would handle dinner.
I’ll get a feel tomorrow of what Amina likes to eat, so that I can cook something for the both of us that’ll last the next two days.
