Chapter thirty-two
Aubrey
Burnt food and nasty wine.
~ Two Weeks Later / August ~
My wedding is four weeks away, and I still haven’t found a dress. I’ve been looking online every hour of the day, but nothing I find appeals to me. They’re all beautiful, but they just aren’t me. All are either too puffy and extravagant, or too revealing. All I want is something simple and elegant.
I want to feel naturally beautiful in my dress, without it taking up all the focus.
I also don’t want to hide my baby bump, which seems to be a thing when it comes to wedding dresses. Most seem to try to make it more discreet by adding layers. I want my bump to show—it’s what brought us here. If it weren’t for our daughter, I don’t think Shane and I would be getting married yet. We’d probably still be only dating.
Our daughter deserves to be a part of our wedding.
I know I’ve been getting too stressed over this. I’ve been having more dizzy spells than normal. Shane has officially confiscated all electronics and wants me to simply relax today. He said he had everything under control, and that there was no need for me to keep looking for a dress, which makes absolutely no sense. I won’t be showing up to my wedding in pants.
But I’m giving him this day, because he’s right. I need to relax more. I have been following all of Dr. Carlson’s other orders, taking extra vitamins, eating multiple times a day, sitting down as much as possible. But it’s hard not to stress when you’re getting married two weeks before your due date.
Just the thought of becoming a mom has started to hit me hard. I’m not really scared of going through labor, which might sound odd for a first-time mom, but it’s just not something that frightens me. I know all the pain and tears will be worth it, because by the time it’s over, I’ll get to hold my baby girl.
What’s causing me a lot of anxiety is the after. Will I be a good mom? Will I know what to do? Will I be able to tell the difference between each cry? What happens if she gets sick? When should I worry if something is normal or not? Those are the kind of things that are making me anxious.
And then there are the pups that, surprisingly, aren’t causing me too much stress. Unless they’re trying to eat our shoes or use our pillows as chew toys. We now have a trainer coming in six days a week, as well as a dog walker, by the name of Annabeth,that comes once a day for the time being. But once hockey starts back up, she’ll be walking the pups three times a day.
The training has been working pretty quickly. We’ve had a few accidents the first couple of days, but after just two weeks, it’s become pretty rare. They even eat in their own appointed bowls. We’ve also gotten them each a collar with their color and name tag attached to it.
“You want to take the dogs out for a walk?” Shane comes up behind me as I eat some Twizzlers in the kitchen while watching our furry babies munch on their food. He places his hands underneath my belly and lifts it slightly, taking the weight off my back.
“God, I’ll never get over how good that feels.” I rest my head against him, closing my eyes and enjoying the moment. “Are you sure it’s a good idea I come with you?”
“Are you feeling lightheaded today?” he asks, kissing my temple.
“Mm, no, not really. I’ve been eating a lot, and I already took a nap.” And it’s not even noon.
“Okay, well, if you’re up for it, we could just walk down to the gate and come back. Like that, we’ll still be on the property if anything happens and you start to feel dizzy,” he murmurs into my hair.
“Okay, yes. I want to go with you.” He releases my belly slowly as I turn in his arms to face him with a smile.
I’ve never been the one to walk the dogs yet. Shane was worried it would be too much for me, but I guess he feels it’s a little safer now. And if I do end up feeling bad, I can just sit down on the ground for a bit until it passes.
“I’ll get the leashes ready.” He kisses my forehead and wanders off.
Fifteen minutes later, all dogs are attached to their appropriate leash, with a little bone-shaped poop bag dispensertied to each. The dogs all bark and whine at the door, waiting to be let out as we put on our shoes. Our pups love walk time.
I take Cupcake’s leash while Shane takes the other four. She’s the one I’m closest to for now. She always sticks by my side and loves napping with me. She even cuddles my belly when Stellina starts to move around a lot. I think she senses her little sister in there.
She’s also the calmest, while the other four are wild children.
The moment Shane opens the front door, they instantly start pulling on their leashes, trying to see who will make it down the steps first, while Cupcake stays by my side, waiting for her turn.
I was a bit nervous she would try to do the same as them and bolt down the steps. But to my surprise, she takes them one at a time, looking up at me with every step she descends. It’s like she knows we need to be careful, and I love her even more for that.
“You’re such a good girl, aren’t you, Cupcake?” I reward her by ruffling her fur once we reach the bottom and when I look up, I see Shane isn’t as lucky.
“No, no, stop turning around. Stay on this side. Brownie, no, come back here.” He pulls on Brownie’s leash, trying to get him back to the left side. But then Muffin follows along and twirls around Shane’s legs. “No! Muffin, you stay on your side. Don’t follow your brother.”
I start to giggle, watching as Cookie begins to jump over Muffin, twisting their leashes together. All while Sprinkles jumps at his dad’s feet, trying to get the chew toy he brought along to play with them. “Stop it, Sprinkles. You’ll get the toy later. Cookie, leave Brownie alone. It’s not play-time, it’s walk time.”
