My brother and I hang in the same group, which means his friends are my friends. If we aren’t speaking to each other, then gatherings and parties will be awkward. And eventually one of us will stop being invited, which will likely be me.
Tears form in my eyes at the thought that I won’t just be losing my brother, I’ll be losing my friends as well. It won’t happen right away. They’ll try to make it all work, to keep me in the loop. But after a while, we’ll go from seeing each other once a week, to once a month. Then it will become a few times spread out during the year, until it turns into catch-up texts and phone calls, and finally the once-a-year Christmas card in the mail.
I begin to sniffle as my mind swirls with the path my life is about to take. I don’t want to have any regrets. I don’t want to have to choose between my happiness and my family.
Why do they get to be happy and have everything they want, but I don’t?
Julian growls as he closes his eyes, cursing under his breath. I block him out, closing my own eyes and curling into a ball. It isn’t until I feel the bed shift that they spring back open. Julian is now lying down on the bed with his head slightly propped up by the pillows against the headboard.
He reaches over and pulls me into his side awkwardly. I don’t place my head on his chest and wrap my arm around his waist like I would with Shane. Instead, I leave my hands cradled beneath my chin and my head underneath his armpit.
“What… what are you doing?”This is extremely weird.Actually, it’s more than that. But I can’t think of the word at the moment.
“I am comforting you,” he answers with a hint of displeasure.
“Oh…”
“Despite my cold exterior and grumpy looks, as most like to mention, I am not heartless, Aubrey. I could tell you needed comforting, and the proper thing for me to do is this.”
“Well, thank you, Julian. I appreciate it,” I tell him truthfully. Because even though I would rather it be anyone else, I do appreciate the gesture.
He simply nods and goes quiet for a moment until he decides to speak up again. “How are you? And the baby? Is everything all right?” His question takes me by surprise; this is the most human I’ve seen Julian.
“Yes, we’re okay. It was just a little scare, but everything is fine. I just need to take it easy from now on,” I reassure him.
He nods again. “I know you are against stepping down from your work, but I believe it would be wise if you reduced yourhours. I am not trying to take your career away from you, Aubrey. Shane has made it abundantly clear how important it is to you. But you and your child’s wellbeing are important to me, and I believe it would be the safest option in this particular scenario.”
There’s a hint of guilt as he speaks next. His voice gets low and fills with emotion in a way I’ve never heard it before. “I would hate it if something were to come to you or the baby. I assured Shane your safety, and I will do everything to keep it that way.”
His words suddenly make sense, as well as his misplaced guilt. “Julian… do you feel guilty for what happened with Noah?”
He’s quiet once more, and that in itself is an answer. “That never should have happened.”
“They don’t blame you, Julian. You did everything you could, no one could have predicted the outcome. It wasn’t your fault.” I shake my head against him.
“My jobisto predict these things, Aubrey. It is to predict them and prevent them from happening. But I failed.”
“You didn’t fail anyone. It would have been a hundred times worse if it wasn’t for you. Everyone is happy and healthy. It’s in the past, it’s done. Don’t beat yourself up over this,” I tell him.
“I am doing no such thing.” He frowns, answering a bit too quickly with an air of defense.
I giggle. “Of course, you aren’t.”Julian the robot is back.“By the way, I’ve already thought about cutting back my hours. I was planning on calling my boss tomorrow and asking to only work two or three days a week and do whatever I can remotely. I don’t want to take any chances.”
“Thank you,” he says quietly, and I don’t miss the silent breath of relief that leaves him.
“I understand why Shane is friends with you now.” I smile when he chuckles.
“And why is that? Because I am still unclear on the subject.”
“Because of this. You act like a robot for the most part, but I think you just showed me your human side. And I think that side of you cares more about the people around you, than you let on.”
“Hmm, I see you have quite the imagination, Miss Ford.”
Now I’m the one to laugh.Of course, Julian would never admit to that.
SHANE
I finally get home at nearly two in the morning.Tomorrow is going to be a long day, or should I say, today.I head into the house, through the garage, and make my way to the master bedroom. The door is slightly ajar and the yellow glow from the nightlight filters through. I push it open and stop dead in my tracks at the sight before me.
