Time passes, I don’t know how much but enough that his heartbeat slows under my cheek, and my stomach lets me know I haven’t eaten all day. Knox strokes my hair wordlessly, and I close my eyes, savoring the gentleness of his touch.
Until his hand stills and I know what’s coming.
“Sawyer?” he asks. “You awake?”
Pretty sure he knows I am, but I’ll pretend otherwise.
“Yeah.”
“I have to go.”
My heart sinks. “Okay.”
I sit up slowly, pushing my hair back from my eyes. He doesn’t waste any time, he’s already up swinging his legs off the bed, reaching for his shirt. Putting himself back together piece by piece into whoever he was dressed to be before I got here. I watch him button his shirt and I try to memorize the line of his shoulders, the way his jaw looks in the lamplight.
“I’m sorry. I wish I could stay up here all night.” The way he sounds, I genuinely believe him. “There’s this meeting with my father. I can’t miss it.”
I nod. What can I say? Not like he’s asking for permission. He’s explaining, which is more than he usually gives me, and I know better than to push it.
I watch him reach for his tie, loop it, and curse under his breath when he can’t get it right. I climb off the bed and go to him.
“Let me.” He sighs and relents, dropping his hands to his sides. I fix his tie, the way Dad taught me when I was little and curious, and adjust it so it’s straight. “There, much better.”
He swallows hard. “Thanks.”
When I step back to look at him, it’s like someone else is in front of me. Someone I don’t quite have access to.
He grabs his wallet and phone from the dresser, slipping them into his pocket. “Are you going to stay?”
“No,” I say, feeling my own disappointment run through me. “I have to head home.”
He nods, a muscle in his jaw ticking. “I’ll call you later.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Crossing the room, he leans in and brushes his lips over mine. A kiss nothing like the last one.
“Knox,” I say, before he reaches the door. He turns, face expectant. “What do you know? About Owen and Ella. I’ve beensitting with it all day and I need you to tell me something. Anything.”
Something flashes in his eyes, but it’s gone as quick as it came.
“Not tonight.”
“You keep saying that and it’s bullshit.”
“Because I keep meaning it.” He crosses back to the bed, sitting on the edge close enough that his knee presses against mine. “I will tell you. Just not tonight.”
“Why not tonight?”
His jaw tightens. “Because I need you to trust me without an explanation right now. I know that’s a lot to ask.”
“No,” I say, frustration bubbling in my chest. “Whatever it is that you know, tell me. Please.”
He sighs and tugs a hand through his hair. “I don’t know everything, but I think maybe something happened between the two of them.”
My hands drop to the sheets. I had a feeling but hearing Knox confirm my suspicion doesn’t help, it hurts. “Why? What would make you think that, besides the texts?”
“Please, Sawyer. I have to go. I promise I’ll look into it. But not tonight.” He sounds so done, and honestly, I’m feeling the same way. Like I need to stew in this new information and see how it truly makes me feel.
