She chews on her bottom lip, making my lips tingle with the need to kiss her again, to bite that plush flesh, too. “Then what do we do? You told my grandfather that you’re atwar.” Her voice wobbles, and the fear that passes through her eyes makes me stand up. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight to my chest.
I kiss the top of her head. “I am at war with him now, yes. And I apologize to you for what I’m going to do tohimbecause of what he’s done. This sort of thing cannot go without consequence, leannán. But you…” I pull back so I can cup her face with both of my hands. “Well, do you feel differently now? About me? Aboutus?Should I pack up your things and send you back to your mam’s house up north?”
Her eyes widen briefly at the fact that I know where she lives, but then her eyes glance at the pictures and back at me, and her expression goes back to normal. As if she’s recalled the obsession I’ve revealed and decided it was completelynormal.
It made the urge to kiss her all the harder to ignore.
“I…I don’t know. I’ve barely had a chance to process this week, much less think about what I’d do if I actually had anychoicein the matter.” Her voice is quiet, meek. Like she’s scared to tell me this for fear of my reaction.
However, it makes perfect sense to me.
I slide my hand down to her neck, caressing her skin along the way. “I will give you time, then. Whatever you want. Whatever you need. Anything for my Amy.” Her eyes widen slightly, surprised by my reassurance. “But I will not go far, leannán. I cannot. I will not. I will follow you wherever you go, but I will give you whatever time you need. I don’t give a singleshite anymore, I’ll follow you like a dog. You’re all I want. And if that reduces me to a simpering pet, then so be it.”
She tilts her head, thinking with furrowed brows. “Is that really letting me go, giving me space?”
A low growl rips from my throat before I can stop it. “I will do whatever I can for you, Amy. Anything you ask. But let you go? I’ll never be able to do that.” My hand grips her cheek and neck a bit tighter, still being careful not to hurt her. “Amy…you must know by now that I’m not an honorable man. I know that’s the right thing to do, but I cannot bring myself to do it. I may love you, but I’m still the Irish Demon, leannán.” I can’t help but rest my forehead against hers as my hands grasp her hips. They’re trembling. All of me is. “Please. Understand me, Amy. I’m trying to be good, so good…everything within me just wants to take, like I always do. I want to sweep you off your feet and take you to Ireland to bathe you in riches and all of your heart’s desires so you’ll never leave me. I want you to choose me, I do, Amy. But I’m not sane enough to handle it if you reject me.”
I feel her fingers in my hair again, firmer this time, pulling my head back and forcing me to look down at her. “Kerry…” Her sweet voice saying my name makes my eyes roll back in my head. “Kerry. Look at me.” I open my eyes again to focus back in on her. “I need to make sure you want me because you actuallywantme, and not just because you want to get back at my grandfather. That I’m not just another thing like the docks to get revenge.”
I stare at her for a moment before pushing away from her, feeling frenetic as the blood pounds through my veins. I run a hand through my hair, my mind registering that I must look crazy, but I don’t care. “Tell me how to prove it to you. I’ll abandon the docks. Hell, I’ll abandon Ireland. Tell me where you want to go, just the two of us. We can live off of what I alreadyhave. I’ll never think of your pruny old grandfather again. I’ll only think of you.”
She furrows her brows as she watches me, and my mind struggles to comprehend why. What can I say to fix this? To make her believe me? To break down all of her reservations? My poor Amy, who always seems to be in limbo, waiting for someone else to make the decisions for her.
Not today. No. Everything is withinhercontrol now. She has the final say.
“And then have you resent me? I don’t think so.” Her voice is quiet.
“Resent you? I could never!” My voice is loud.
She takes a step towards me, and it loosens the knot of need that’s wrapped around my heart, just slightly. “Kerry.” The sound of my name on her lips again makes me take a breath, and then another, calming me. “I don’t want you to sacrifice anything for me. I just…I need to know I’m not anotherthingto you.”
“You’re not.” My voice is rough, desperate. I shake my head, turning away from her, confused by the burning of tears in my eyes. “You could never be.”
She exhales softly, out of exasperation or surprise, I’m not sure, and it’s driving me mad. “We’ve known each other for like…three days.”
I jerk my head towards her, knowing the intensity of my gaze is all-consuming and perhaps overwhelming. I don’t care. “No,you’veknownmefor three days. I’ve known you for so much longer, leannán. And my soul is tired of not being allowed to love you.”
I want to wipe the look of confusion and concern off of her face. I’ve seen far too much of that expression on her and I’m tired of it. She takes another step forward, putting her hand up like I’m a wild animal she wants to calm. Hell, perhaps I am. I barely recognize myself, barely register anything but theseraging emotions inside of me and the pounding of the blood in my ears. “But we’ve never met before this week. Don’t you think that’s a bit different? Don’t you think that you can’t really get to know someone until you actually interact with them?”
I suck in a deep breath, ignoring the panging ache in my chest. “Except I’ve read everything I can about you. Except I’ve observed you foryears.Not just through pictures. Amy, I’ve been in the shadows of your life, skirting around the outer edges of your vision, just out of sight. I know what I want and I do not lose sight of my goal once it’s set. And this week, we’ve spent a lot of time together. Meaningful time. The length of it is irrelevant.”
She stares at me for a moment, searching my face. “Is it irrelevant, though?” She asks quietly, and I want to shake her and shout,NO! Of course it’s irrelevant! Not when my feelings are this deep, this intense! I’ve barely been able to be apart from you!
I step towards her and take her outstretched hand in mine. “Amy. You started as a mission. An avenue. A goal. A way to get to your grandfather. And then…I learned of you. I understood you. I breathed you in, how you thought, your way of life, your verymind.And I entangled my thoughts up in you until they couldn’t be separated. I never half-ass anything. So when I tell you I amobsessed,trust that I mean it. Not you on paper. Not theideaof you. Butyou.As you are. And it’s only grown stronger as we’ve come together, as I’ve spent time in your presence, growing more addicted…as I’ve tasted the sweetness of your lips.”
Those very lips part slightly, drawing my attention to them. My mind buzzes more with those thoughts again…I want her, I want her, I want…
Her other hand wraps around mine as her eyes search my face. “I…I think I understand. So tell me what your plan is. Where do we go from here?”
2
Amy
Holy shit.
That’s the only thing I can think as I watch the man before me descend into madness. Alasdair is getting more and more frantic as time goes on, and I’m not sure even the best actor in the world could pull this off.
I should be scared. He’s one of the more powerful and dangerous men in the world, a criminal, handling dark stuff on a daily basis. And he’s obsessed with me, in his own words. Yet…I must be as crazy as him because I’m not frightened of him. If anything, this kind of devotion makes me feel…safe. Comfortable. Protected.
