“Mate,” Beryl cooed through the door. “What can I do to help?”
“I brought morning sickness gummies. They’re in my bag with the l-u-…” I never got to finish spelling out lube before I threw up again. Though, Beryl had gathered enough information to understand what I asked for. A few seconds later, he tried the knob, but I had managed to lock the door while he was gone. He tried twice more before disappearing. Of course, he walked away. I was the jackass who locked him out. What was wrong with me? I was probably pregnant. I was supposed to be happy, right? Why was I crying?
“Because our stomachs hate bacon! This is treason!”my lion chimed off into my thoughts.“And because the world is sad. Maybe it’s our hormones but this fucking day sucks!”
A second later, the bathroom window above the tub opened. I nearly jumped out of my skin but it too small of a window for Beryl to climb through. Instead, it was just his arm holding out my bottle of orange morning sickness gummies. I raised up enough to take them from him and whispered my thanks. His face appeared in the window and I wanted to hide. I was a crying, sick mess.
“The lock on this window has been wonky for years,” he said. “We never bothered to fix it because it’s so small.”
“I’m okay,” I said.
“It looks like you might need some help,” he said.
“Throwing up?”
“I can bring you water or a hair tie or… Anything, really,” he said.
“You can go back to breakfast,” I sniffled.
“Did I do something?” Beryl asked and I shook my head. “Do you not want to go back?”
“I do,” I cried. “I don’t know why I’m crying. Everything makes me want to cry right now. I just need a few minutes to pull it together. I can’t let Jondi see me like this. So I need you to go to him and make sure he’s okay.”
“Jondi is eating,” Beryl said. “He’s the one who told me you were baby sick like his Uncle Vatten had been. Though, he hoped you’d have your babies one at a time and not decide to have all five at once like Vatten did.”
I laughed but a sob broke through.
“Can I come through the door, or do I need to cut a hole in the wall?” Beryl asked.
“I just need a minute,” I turned away from him, trying to choke down the gummies despite my stomach’s protests.
“I’m going to give you five minutes. Then I’m going to be back at the door. I’m not trying to be pushy, but I’m worried.”
“Pregnant men cry, Beryl! You try having a million hormones surging through your system so an embryo can implant and grow! You try throwing up when you’re hungry and you smell bacon! You’d cry too if bacon betrayed you!” I shouted.
“I might,” he nodded.
“See! Now go take care of the baby and let me clean up!”
Beryl gave me a long look before pulling his head out of the window.
“Lucky your big head didn’t get stuck in the hole!”
“That’s what he said!” he called back to me, and I shot him a bird despite almost laughing. Only I didn’t trust my stomach with any sudden moves. I flushed the toilet and shut the lid. Then I managed to slide up onto the side of the tub. I rested my face in my hands and did my best to get my tears under control. I was happy to be pregnant. I was happy that our little family was growing. Just my fucking hormones wouldn’t stop making my eyes leak.
Eventually, I managed to undress and climb into the shower. I stood there under the lukewarm water because the hot water made me want to be sick again and tried to breathe without crying. I couldn’t spend the next three or four months crying. My tear ducts would never survive it. I wouldn’t survive it.
“It’s time to go home. I want my carrier,”my lion chimed off into my thoughts.
Chapter 20
Mori
Moonscale London
Weeks had passed and Era’s howling had stopped, but Caster still weaved back and forth between his home and mine. I had given up on my neighbor ever speaking to me again when someone knocked on the door in the middle of the night. Era stood there in his black robe with heavy bags under his eyes that were nearly as dark as the fabric he was garbed in.
“Hey,” I said, trying not to sound like a wolf just woken from a sound sleep despite that being exactly what I was.
