It felt like she was about to fight for her life because this was everything she believed in and, if she lost that, she would be losing who she was.
‘You think romance is a performance,’ she told Angus. ‘And it can be when it’s something stupid like putting a rose between your teeth or… or a flash mob in a very public place that ends up with someone proposing, but that’s notrealromance.’
‘So whatis?’
Tilly was not going to break this eye contact. It felt like she wasn’t even blinking.
‘It’s the magic,’ she said softly. ‘And that can be in something perfectly ordinary. It’s…à vous couper le souffle.’ Tilly’s English was almost perfect but, when she was trying to express something that was pure emotion inside her that needed to come out as quickly as possible, it became a lot harder. ‘It’s what takes your breath away,’ she translated. ‘It’s the sparkle that makes something shine enough for you to see how special it is.’
She caught her own breath fast enough to keep talking without a pause.
‘It’s a touch on your skin that’s as light as a breath but can still make you shiver inside. It’s a taste of something and, because you’re eating it with your lover, it suddenly becomes more delicious than it has the right to be. It’s giving something asignificance that will stay with you for the rest of your life. One of those memories that can be a light in dark times, like if you feel unbearably lonely or you’ve lost something so precious that the grief makes you want to die. But these memories have the real magic. Because of the love. The romance.’
Tilly could sense she wasn’t explaining it well enough. ‘If a child picks a flower and offers it as a treasure to her mother – that’s pure love. If a man chooses a flower with care and offers it to hiscopine– that’s love but it’s also romantic. Both moments will be remembered but the love between a mother and child will always be there. It’s unconditional. The love between the man and the woman is something that comes out of nowhere – like magic and it has to be equal enough on both sides. And it needs to be cherished. It needs the food of romance and, if you truly love someone and they love you back, it’s never going to be a performance. Or just the icing. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. It can just be… there. A way of sayingje t’aime– I love you – without any words at all. A tiny gift. A touch. Just a look…’
Angus was staring at her as if she had just beamed in from another planet. She needed to stop ranting, Tilly thought, but now that the words were pouring out, she couldn’t stop them.
‘You can remember how it felt when you were just sitting with your lover watching that beautiful sunset and the way he looked at you and then touched your face with his fingers – so softly, like a feather – until he reached your lips…’
Oh, help… she was thinking of Angus doing exactly that, wasn’t she? When they were standing in the olive grove cottage. Before they made love for the first time. Because ithadbeen making love – for her, at least. She wasn’t just on the edge of falling in love with Angus McLeod. It had already happened and she knew that beyond any shadow of doubt because she could feel the magic with just the flash of a memory she barelyacknowledged. One that hadn’t interrupted the flow of her words for more than a heartbeat.
‘…and then the look in his eyes changed and they looked like pools that were so deep you could fall into them and sink forever and, when his lips touched yours that was exactly what you wanted to do.Fall. Forever.’
Tilly dragged in a new breath. The words were finally running out. Had she made any sense at all or just made herself sound like more of a fool for having such a belief in something Angus had no time for?
‘That’s how romance can make a moment magical. Just a touch. A look. A kiss, a few words or a written note,peut-être.’ Her voice had dropped to no more than a whisper. ‘And even the memory of it can make youfeelthat moment again. That tiny shiver. That glow. It’s about the love.’ She put her hand on her heart. ‘It comes from inhereand, even if it looks like a performance to others – that slow dance or that kiss in the light of the sunset – it can still be truly romantic if it’s real.’
* * *
Angus was still staring at Tilly, totally mesmerised.
He had heard every word she’d said but he’d alsofeltthem and they’d had a power that made him want to believe.
He wanted memories like that. He’d been perfectly well aware that something was missing from his life and he’d intended to rectify that by getting married and having someone to share it. By having children. By having a dog in the family, for God’s sake.
But what if what was really missing from his life was none of those things but the ability to feel the kind of love that made romance a gift to be both given and received?
Maybe romance was the evidence of being capable of feeling that kind of love. Or to tell if someone felt that way about you. Tilly believed that the lack of it had destroyed her parents’ marriage. She wouldn’t consider marrying a man who didn’t share that belief.
Angus was being pulled even more firmly towards that dangerous space where you could find that you’d handed your heart to somebody who didn’t want it and the pieces you got back were never going to fit properly together again.
But Tilly had earned his admiration and his trust over the last few days. She was clearly a passionate believer and that made the space she’d inhabited all her life seem a lot more inviting than watching his father’s romantic disasters ever had.
A space to at least visit, even if it only confirmed that he didn’t want to live there?
Tilly still had her hand on her chest, over her heart. Angus put his hand over hers, holding her gaze for as long as possible as he very slowly dipped his head until he was close enough to kiss her.
He had the ridiculous notion that the winged man might be watching them, but he also had the feeling that this moment was going to be one of those memories that Tilly had been talking about. The kind he would have forever.
Because, the instant his lips touched Tilly’s, it was like that moment at the lake when everything – the gorgeous countryside, the delicious picnic, the sunshine and, of course, the kiss – had created an alchemy that made him feel like he was more alive than he’d ever felt before.
This was more than that, even. This time he thought he could feel a hint of that sparkle Tilly had been talking about.
Or was that just wishful thinking because he wanted to feel that sparkle. To believe in thatmagic…
15
The original itinerary that had been created for Angus had started to go off-piste at around the same time as the hot-air balloon ride had had such an unfortunate ending, but Tilly was really winging it by the time they’d taken advantage of being able to have a second night in the gorgeous private villa at the Château Saint-Martin.
