Reallyliving… When had he felt like that?
By the lake, that’s when. With the sun sparkling on the water like a million diamonds.
When he’d remembered what his father’s dying words had been.
When he’d been kissing Tilly.
And maybe lost wasn’t the right word for how he was feeling right now.
Angus had the horrible thought that Moira had hit the nail fair and square on its head.
Maybe he was dying very, very slowly. Inch by inch.
Because the sparkle wasn’t there any longer and he knew perfectly well why it had gone.
Tilly was too far away.
It had been right in front of him all this time and he hadn’t recognised it thanks to all those walls he’d constructed so carefully ever since that awful day when he’d seen his father cry.
What was missing from his life wasn’t simply the visible components of a wife or a child or a dog. It was the glue that held them together, and that had nothing to do with romance.
It was unconditional love. Love that you could trust as much as finding oxygen in the next breath you took. The kind of love that would forgive anything and make everything worthwhile. The kind of love you could die for.
The kind that made you feel you were more than you ever thought you could be.
That you were The One.
That you were enough. And always would be.
Angus didn’t feel lost now. He knew exactly where he needed to go and what he needed to do when he got there.
The only thing he was missing was a map.
‘I’ll be in my office,’ he told Moira. ‘I’ve got a new project that might well take up all my time for the rest of the day.’
‘Let me know if I can be of assistance.’
‘Thank you, but I think I need to do this one alone.’ Angus opened the door to his office but paused for a heartbeat to take a deep breath.
For the first time in his life, he was going to willingly embrace a risk, even though he knew perfectly well how devastating the fallout could be.
He was going to take an unthinkable risk because choosing to avoid it was simply not an option.
Walking away was not possible. Not when you knew you’d recognised the place that you would always belong.
Yet again, his secretary had proven herself to be wise beyond her years.
When you know, you know.
23
The message pinged into Tilly’s phone at a time she should have been sound asleep but she was, instead, following a now familiar pattern of staring at her ceiling for far too long, having woken up from dreaming about Angus McLeod.
Missing him with an ache that made getting back to sleep very unlikely.
Still clinging to the hope that she was going to be seeing him again because she was sure she knew Angus well enough to know he wouldn’t simply walk away without saying goodbye properly.
Even if he only returned for a farewell, Tilly would still want to see him. Because that would mean a friendship could be salvaged. That she wouldn’t have to try and wall off the memories of their time together due to a fear that they might bring more pain than joy.
