I can’t do differently. What we have right now is all we’ll ever have. As much as I love being here, part of this family, and as much as I like him – and fancy him like no one else – this isn’t me. This isn’t my life. It can’t be.
I need a life I can fit in neat boxes. I’m rigorous schedules, timed workouts, organised wardrobes, tracked sleep, monitored nutrition. I can’t entertain being with someone like Tiago. Sure, he’s sexy and fun; I’ve never laughed so much with someone; he didn’t ridicule me for staying with Damian, and he understands my mum dying isn’t something I need to just get over.
But I know myself, and I know what happens when I let chaos take over.
Why in the world am I panicking? No one said anything about being more. He’s never once mentioned he feels differently, or brought up his abstinence, or posed dating. He even snapped at his sister for suggesting it earlier. Maybe I’m panicking because…
Or maybe I’m dehydrated. Brits aren’t built to sweat this much.
Chapter 33
TIAGO
‘I’ll be taking this,’ I say, relieving Jules of her bag as we step onto deck.
‘What? Why?’
‘This is a bikini-free boat.’
Above her sunglasses, her eyebrows draw together. ‘Since when?’
‘Since you got on board.’
‘Don’t you share it with your sister?’
She has the memory of a freaking elephant. ‘It’s a new rule.’
‘What if I burn my nips?’
‘Then I willpersonallymassage aloe vera on them for as long as it takes. Hours. Days.’
‘Wow, the service here is insane – but you’re out of luck.’ She takes off her dress in one go, revealing a very tiny bikini. It’s red and black, and fastened by delicate bows. I like it, sure, but I’d like it better gone. I work quickly and both parts are untied before she can say ‘Ahoy’.
‘You havestaff,’ she hisses, frantically trying to hold the flimsy pieces in place.
‘They’ve seen much worse,’ I mutter under my breath.
I wait until the crew are out of sight and we’re drifting out of port before I make my move on this insanely hot woman who’s squeezing her titties so much they’re flowing over the top of her fingers.
‘You were saying about nips?’ I prompt, whipping the fabric away.
‘Tiago!’
‘It’s fine,’ I shush her. ‘They can’t see down here.’
‘How many people work on this thing?!’
‘It doesn’t matter. Just shut up and enjoy being seduced by this Latino. Latinos invented sex, you know.’
She scrunches her face up. ‘I don’t think that’s true.’
Enough talking. I pull her to me and crush her lips to mine before she can chicken out. She tastes like cherry lip balm and I eat it up. It isn’t long before she melts into me and her fingers brush the top of my shorts.
‘I have a surprise for you,’ I breathe against her lips.
‘If it’s your dick, nothing about it could surprise me. I’ve had it everywhere.’
I laugh into her mouth, filing that comment for later. I’m sure it could still surprise her somehow. ‘It’s not. I’m making up for Barcelona.’ I reluctantly break away and go to my own bag.
