I roll my eyes as I run the towel over my hair, then wrap it around my waist to catch the droplets trickling down my chest.
“How did that go, by the way?” Her flippant tone doesn’t match the lines of anxiety etched on her forehead.
I exhale. “As well as it could have.”
“What does that mean, Lev?”
“It means tonight was unexpected. He wants to meet with you in the morning.”
“What am I supposed to say?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” she echoes. “Won’t that … annoy him?”
It sure would. If the stakes were any lower, it’d be entertaining.
“That meeting won’t happen,” I tell her. “I just need to get you to Moscow. I have plenty of resources there, men my father doesn’t control. They’ll get you out of the country.”
“To go where?”
“Wherever you want.”
Carina sighs heavily. “I don’t want to keep running, Lev. To look over my shoulder for the rest of my life. I’m not trying to be difficult or ungrateful, but it feels like I’ve spent my whole life hiding. In Chicago, I was worried someone would find out who I was and use me against my father, and now I’m terrified of my father finding me. I can’t give up and go back there, but I don’t … the only time I feel safe is when I’m with you.” She whispers that last sentence, like she’s not sure she should say it.
“I am not a good person, Carina.”
She’s seen more than I ever meant for her to, more than enough to conclude that for herself, but it still feels necessary to state. She’ssafestfar away from me.
“Neither am I.” I open my mouth to argue, but she continues before I can, “I’ve stolen, I’ve lied, I’ve killed. The only reason I haven’t cheated is because I broke up with guys before you visited.”
If she didn’t look so serious, I’d scoff at her list of sins.
“That is nothing compared to?—”
“You told me to marry Nico Morello,” Carina interrupts. “Is that who I should feel safe with? Is that a good person?”
My nostrils flare. I plan to personally ensure Morello never gets within a mile of Carina again. But keeping her close to me means keeping her close to my family—within my father’s reach. Even if I decided to abandon them, all my running with Carina would accomplish is sending a second manhunt after us. Loyalty is prized above all else. Abandoning my blood … I’d lose any respect. I wouldn’t be able to trust anyone because they’d all believe they couldn’t trust me.
Carina is staring, waiting for my answer to her ridiculous questions. I didn’t mean the words when they were coming out of my mouth. I just wanted her taken care of. And she would have been after marrying Morello. We don’t have much of a moral code, but we avoid involving women at all costs. Wives are especially off-limits.
“We would have to get married,” I state, hoping the bold statement might shock some reason into her.
It’s the most protection I can offer, and I’m still not sure it would be enough. I’m supposed to ask mypakhanfor permission before getting engaged. Igor personally chose Victoria from a group of women who were all wealthy and refined and, most importantly, Russian. Victoria is treated like a second-class Sokolov anyway. I can’t even comprehend how wary they’d be of Carina. How furious and disappointed. But I don’t think Igor would sanction murdering my wife. Not if others were aware of the marriage. It would spook everyone who expected our protection.
Carina’s staring at me, clearly stunned. “I-I can’t ask you to do that,” she finally says.
“You did not ask me to do anything,” I tell her, irritated by the implication.
Everyone aside from Carina accepts I don’t follow orders from anyone except my father. He hasn’t forbidden me from doing this—because it would never cross his mind that I might. And even if he did, it wouldn’t make a difference.
“I still can’t?—”
I shake my head impatiently. “We will leave for Moscow early. I’ll take you somewhere safe, or we’ll get married. If we don’t go then, we won’t be able to. And if you stay here, you’ll end up back in Italy or dead.”
What I don’t add is, that outcome might kill me too. I won’t be able to watch a carpet get replaced because the old one wasstained with Carina’s blood. Or know she’s being sent to a man who will abuse her. I’ll do something rash and stupid, like point a gun at Igor, to prevent either from happening, and that’s a guaranteed death sentence for her. Maybe for me too. Igor killed his brother. Is a son so different?
“Get some sleep,” I say, heading for the doorway.
