“Pretend because I don’t want her to disappear with themagain,” Keane explained.“If she doesn’t get this out of her system, she’llhave to do it when we get home.I haven’t even had supper.She can at leastshow us where the food is.”
She hoped her parents had food.“Sorry.I wasn’t thinking.”
“Of course you weren’t.Didn’t you have dinner at the bar?”Keane asked pointedly.
“Oh, we did.The barbecue was great.Really went well withthe margaritas,” Gigi supplied helpfully.
“Again with the sorry.”She hadn’t actually eaten that much.
“That’s the last question you answer from us.We’re nothere,” Keane insisted.“You have until we get to the ranch to decide if youwant to play this safe or if you want a spanking and a whole bunch of orgasmstonight.”He turned the radio on.“Now pretend you’re alone with yourgirlfriends.”
Miranda grinned her way.“I think you should take theorgasms.That sounds like a good deal.”
Oh, but they wanted so much more than sex.They might notsay it, but they wanted more.They wanted to try.
But she’d had two reminders today about where trying gother.
“I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”She kept her voicelow.With the music they might not be able to hear her.
Gigi’s tone went soft.“You are not making a fool ofyourself.You never have.Livie, all you’ve ever done was be in a relationshipand be kind.It is not your fault that the men ended up being dickheads.”
“Gigi is right,” Miranda added.“There is no foolishnessabout trying to care for someone.”
“And if I don’t want to try anymore?”Olivia asked.
“Now that is foolishness,” Gigi replied solemnly.“Becauseletting those morons keep you from the life and the love you deserve isfoolish.”
Miranda leaned in.“You’re in a place where you have todecide which road to take.A crossroads of sorts, and I think it’s wrapped upin all the change that’s happened lately.Your brothers got married.Bobby isin love.Your parents are moving into a retirement phase, and you’ve got a lotmore responsibility coming.”
She knew her friend was speaking the truth.“Josh and Grimwill help me.And Nicole.She’s been learning parts of the business.”
“But they’re going to be nesting, and if what they told meis true, they want to start trying for kids,” Gigi pointed out gently.“Miranda’s right.It’s a lot of change, and with Scott and Jason bursting backin like a horrifying reunion, I worry you might not see it if something goodcomes into your life.I worry you’ll reject it because you’re scared it willturn bad again.I wonder what might have happened if those two assholes hadn’tdecided to tag team you today.”
She seriously doubted Jason and Scott knew each other, muchless planned this.It was shitty timing.She was right about that, but shedidn’t understand what opportunities it had given her.“Well, Garrett would beat a motel, and Keane would be in the bunkhouse.I had already had the talkwith them when Scott showed up.”
“So the universe gave you another chance since you screwedup the first one.”Gigi obviously wasn’t letting this go.“You need to shovethe idea of shame and foolishness out of your head.Scott and Jason are thepast.They only have the power over you that you give them.So don’t give themany.”
Miranda took her hand and turned it over in her palm,tracing the line she found there.It was a scar from childhood.A memory on herskin.“Were you foolish when you got this?”
Olivia smiled.It had been so long since she thought aboutthe day.“I was the king of the mountain that day.I beat everyone up that hilland came down even faster.A lot of people would call me foolish and a dumb kidand maybe I was, but I still remember what it felt like to have the wind in myhair and the sun on my face, and I was proud.Even when I fell I was proud ofhow I did it.”
“And that’s why you try,” Gigi concluded.“Even if you don’twant something long term, you take their deal and have fun and even fall inlove a little.I don’t think these guys are going to willfully break yourheart.Set out your boundaries but have some fun.Let yourself go.Find thatkid who beat every boy in Bliss up the mountain.”
She remembered the day and it warmed her.She had been knownfor being a crazy kid, always running wild and having fun adventures.Herfathers freaked out and also loved how free she was.Her momma had feared forher life at times, but she always talked about how strong her little girl was.
And then she grew up and got caught in the daily grind ofresponsibilities.She let go of that crazy kid she was and started fearingthings she shouldn’t.Failure.Looking like a fool.
Maybe it was time to get that kid back.In the most adultway possible.
She didn’t use to sit around worrying about what peoplewould think of her if she did this or failed at that.She just did it and lifewas this mighty adventure.If she failed, she tried again.Nothing stopped herwhen she was a kid.
Her mother kept mentioning how she should get out more, takea vacation.At the time it felt like maybe she wasn’t doing as well as shethought she was.But what if her mom was worried she was drifting too far fromwho she was, that she could lose that golden part of herself if she nevernurtured it?
“I used to make decisions based on my gut.The first oneI’ve made in a long time was to spend the night with those men and it turnedinto a calamity,” she whispered.
Miranda shook her head.“No.It turned into exactly what youneeded to get through something you hadn’t counted on.”
“You’re thinking about it the wrong way,” Gigi agreed.“Whatif the universe knew what was going to happen and they’re a gift?What if theywere placed in your path to remind you that you don’t have to face thingsalone?That you can open yourself up and it’s not a mistake.”
