“Two days!Two whole days,” Julia repeated fiercely.“That is how long it has taken our mothers to issue the instructions to the servants to pack up or dispose of our grandmother’s furniture and other belongings, before allowing us to follow our fathers into London.”
“As I was present, I am well aware of how long it has taken.”Amanda also kept her voice low, but there was a smile in her tone.“We cannot know if anything significant has happened in those same days.”
“Exactly!And it will be a total of three days by the time we get there, andanythingcould have happened in that time.Those men almost killed Nicholas when they abducted him.”She shuddered at the memory.
“Instead, they ended up killing themselves.And I do not believe they meant to kill him?—”
“But they almost did so anyway!”Julia found it hard to quell her frustration with this torturous delay in the four women’s departure for London.
Not just because she was concerned for the well-being of all concerned, but because she also wished to see and speak with Nicholas again, to apologize for her part in their last disastrous conversation.
She had been wrong to be so accusatory toward him.She knew that now.Not only because she might have been wrong in those accusations, but because she had not given Nicholas the opportunity to defend himself.
Yes, she would always love and mourn the abrupt end to Freddie’s young life.But she did not believe he would have wished her to speak to his beloved brother as she had three days ago.Indeed, knowing that she and Nicholas had been Freddie’s two favorite people, she believed he was probably smiling down on them at the thought of them being together.
If, that is, Nicholas still wished to conform to the wishes of his father and her grandfather for the two of them to marry.
If she could persuade Nicholas to accept her apology.
Ifwas the question.
“Do not fret so, darling.”Amanda reached out to link her gloved fingers with Julia’s.“I do not believe Wolfingham would have allowed any sort of intimacy to happen between you if he did not intend to go through with your marriage.Be at ease,” she assured when Julia shot the two older women across the carriage a worried glance.“I am sure they are fully asleep and not listening to what we are saying.”
Julia sighed in relief.“But perhaps do not talk of that…interlude again in my mother’s presence, even if she appears to be asleep.”
She had been convinced when she was a child that her mother knew what Julia had said or done even whilst the countess was sleeping.It was only once she was older that Julia had realized her nanny or one of the maids, when questioned, had told her mother of the events she had not actually witnessed.
Julia was aware of that now, but it did not stop her from remaining cautious in her mother’s presence, whether the other woman was awake or asleep.
“I must be allowed to say this,” Amanda murmured.“After your conversation that night with Wolfingham, you now know that, rather than being a consummate rake, he is a man of courage and daring who merely uses that persona to hide his work for the Crown.I cannot believe that such a man would allow himself to be deterred from continuing your betrothal because of a single negative conversation.”
“I hope you are right,” Julia said achingly.“I would hate it if he was forced to marry me as a result of my parents learning we shared a bed that night.It would be disastrous for the success of any future relationship between us.”
Amanda squeezed her hand.“No one shall ever hear of it from me.”
“Nor me,” Julia vowed.
Which was not to say that she did not know she had an uphill task in front of her, simply being able to speak with Nicholas again, let alone convince him she had not meant any of the things she said to him before he left for London.
“Have you thought any more about Freddie’s sudden desire to join the military?”she prompted curiously.
“I have…”
“Well?”
Amanda looked at her with sympathetic eyes.“Is it possible…Do you think that Freddie might have gone into the army because he wished to impressyourather than his brother?”
“Me?”Julia was taken aback.“Why, when he was already one of my closest friends, would Freddie wish to impress me?”
“Oh, my dear.”Amanda reached out and clasped her hand.“Freddie was in love with you.”
“He most certainly was not,” Julia scoffed.
“Of course he was,” Amanda chided gently.“He adored you.”
“I adored him too.”
“Not in the way Freddie adored you,” her cousin said softly.“He always worshipped the ground you walked on.He was so devoted to you that he never balked once at whatever wild adventure you wished to go on next.It is no good protesting, darling,” Amanda insisted firmly when Julia would have spoken.“Freddie was in love with you.I believe he might have joined the army to appear heroic.As a way of finally making youseehim as more than your childhood friend.”
