“Thank you, darlin’. You don’t know how much that means to me.” He caught her hand in his and pressed a swift kiss to the center of her palm, sending a wave of heat up her arm to center with pulsating urgency in the pit of her stomach. “Would you turn around?”
She rolled on her side, facing the fire as he sat up and fumbled with his trousers. The cold air brushed her backside as the blankets shifted, but he finished quickly and then pulled her against his chest, holding her tight as shivers wracked his big body.
“Much better,” he whispered, his breath warm against her neck. “Is this all right? For me to hold you this way?”
She nodded, too overwhelmed by his warmth and strength to object. He held her as though she was precious to him. As though he cared for her. Tears stung her eyes as she realized how much she’d needed this. To be held, to be touched, to be treated as a flesh and blood woman after so many years of being a sick man’s nurse and then a dead man’s widow.
“Do you know what I missed most during all those years in prison?” He brushed a few strands of her hair away from her cheek, his touch gentle and unthreatening. “I missed having someone to talk to. I missed those conversations Hannah and I had when we were alone in bed together, after all the chores of the day were through. Would you talk to me for a while, darlin’?”
Her heart melted. His soft admission touched her deeply. “Of course. But I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me about yourself, your family, the weather. Hell, I don’t care. I just want to listen to your sweet voice and pretend…” He trailed off, then gave an uncomfortable laugh.
He wanted to pretend she was his wife. The words hung unspoken between them, but she wasn’t upset. She could do this for him. It was the least she could do, given all he’d done for her.
“I grew up in Boston,” she began, her words slow and halting. “My father owns a shipping company. My mother died when I was very young.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured as he ran his fingers through her hair and smoothed away the tangles with painstaking patience. It felt wonderful, and she struggled to keep from sighing in sheer bliss.
“I was three when she passed away,” she continued, trying to keep her mind focused on the small talk he’d requested. “I have an older brother, Samuel. He runs Father’s company now. And my younger sister, Caroline, is married to an Army captain and lives in Austin. I’m on my way to visit her for a while.”
“How long has it been since you last saw your sister?”
“Goodness, five years or more. I haven’t seen her since David and I moved to Colorado.”
“He was sick for a long time?”
“For so long I can’t remember a time when he wasn’t.” It was true. She couldn’t remember the laughing young man she’d fallen in love with. He’d been replaced by the bitter, dying man who’d done his best to make her life as miserable as his own. “We were married for seven years, but he became sick after the first one.”
“You never had any children?”
She shook her head. “I wanted a baby, especially when I realized I was going to lose David. But it never happened. I think I’m barren.”
He trailed his hand down her arm and let it rest upon her belly. “You’re still young. Maybe it was him, not you.”
“Maybe,” she whispered, choking with despair over all the things she’d lost. “But what man would want me now? I’m almost thirty.”
“Closer to twenty-five, I’d guess. And I don’t know what manwouldn’twant you, Bethany. You’re so damn pretty I’m about to die from wanting you.” Her name was a gentle caress from his lips. He shifted, and she gasped as he pressed against her, showing her what he meant.
Sudden panic streaked through her, and she tried to move away, but he caught her easily, holding her as she struggled, his breath harsh and erratic in her ear. “Easy now. Don’t run away. I won’t hurt you. I would never do anything you didn’t want me to do.”
That was the problem, she realized as she stilled. She feared she wanted the same things he did. And no one would ever have to know. She’d never see him again, come morning.
For long moments they remained frozen, locked in an intimate embrace, while crazy thoughts raced through her mind. He’d been in prison for years, she reminded herself. Years without a woman to hold or touch. Of course, he wanted her. He’d have wanted any woman in this situation.
But she wanted him, too. She wanted the freedom to run her hands across his beautiful, lean body. She wanted to touch a man who was strong and healthy, one who was capable of bringing her pleasure and respite from the sorrow and sickness that had become her life.
“Are you all right?” His voice was a rough whisper in her ear. “Do you want me to let you go? Because I will, if you want me to.”
And those words sealed her fate. He was stronger than her; she was entirely at his mercy. He didn’t have to ask; he could have taken. But because he’d offered her the choice, she chose him.
She shifted onto her back and stared up at him, hoping she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life. Still, she had to know one thing before she went any further. “Those men you killed—did you have a good reason?”
He gave her a long, searching look. “Do you consider vengeance a good reason?”
“Vengeance?” She cupped his cheek with her palm. “What happened to you?”
“I had a small homestead, nothing special except I owned the rights to the only good water source for miles around. A rancher tried to buy it from me, but I refused. He started sending hired guns to pressure me. They killed my stock, burned my outbuildings, and even threatened my life. I’d come through four years of hell, fighting in the war, and that little plot of land meant the world to me. I wasn’t going to give it up without a fight.”
