Gemma flushed and nodded abruptly. “Of course, my lord,” she said stiffly, her earlier enthusiasm waning. Serenity pitied the woman, who had no doubt built some sort of fantasy that Luke had invited her here for another reason altogether.
The rest of the meal passed quietly, and then all three of them turned in for the night.
* * *
LUKE LAID UPON THEnarrow bed in the cottage’s guestroom, wrestling with the idea of sending Gemma back to London. All the fun and intimacy he and Serenity had created here in the cottage had been ruined within one night by Gemma’s disapproving presence.
Of course, he couldn’t do that. Serenity’s reputation was important to him. He would never forgive himself if she became ruined because he couldn’t keep his hands off her. She was a good girl. He had to either let her go or take her as his wife.
The thought both thrilled and terrified him. He couldn’t imagine binding his life with anyone other than her, but taking that step, taking responsibility for yet one more person, terrified him. Since she’d come into his life, he’d felt raw, open, exposed. He loved that she saw him so clearly, yet there were times when she saw too much.
He’d needed this time away from the burdens and responsibilities that came with his title. With Serenity, he’d been able to put all those things aside and simply be Luke, an ordinary man who enjoyed building things and deep conversations and kissing a beautiful girl.
If he married Serenity, he couldn’t be that man anymore. He’d have to be her husband, her provider, her protector. All the innocence and fun would no doubt disappear. He also knew how difficult it would be for her to gain acceptance in high society. She’d be mocked and looked down upon, and he couldn’t bear that for her. He wanted everyone to see her the way he saw her. Beautiful, smart, funny, compassionate. She was everything he’d never known he wanted in a woman.
The other choice, to keep her here in Kent, make an oasis of the home he was building and escape to it, to her, as often as he could, seemed much preferable. He could keep her safe and untouched by the ugliness of his world.
But how could he ask her to become his mistress? She would think he didn’t love or respect her, when the opposite was true. She would never see it as an attempt to protect her, to show her only the best of himself.
He sighed and tossed restlessly, knowing he could never do that. She deserved to be his countess, but perhaps he could drag out this time they had together without the weight of his position ruining it for as long as possible. Perhaps he would wait a year or so before proposing. He’d only known her a few months. They were young. They had all the time in the world to put rules and boundaries on what they felt for each other.
For now, he just wanted to be free to be himself. Free to love her.
As though his thoughts had summoned her, his door swung silently open, and Serenity stepped inside, easing it carefully shut behind her. She gave him an impish smile and put her fingertip to her lips.
He grinned and sat up in bed, achingly aware that he was nude beneath the blankets.
Her gaze settled upon his bare chest, and heat stained her delicate cheeks. “I’m sorry for intruding,” she whispered. “I just wanted to talk to you for a bit. I feel like we didn’t get a chance to be ourselves with Miss Cross there.”
He held her gaze and patted the spot beside him. “Come here,” he murmured.
She did as he’d asked, her face flushing even redder, if such a thing were possible. She sat down beside him, the bed so narrow their shoulders touched. “I’m glad you came,” he whispered. “I felt the same way. I’ve grown so fond of our talks.”
She sighed and lifted her gaze to his. “I know it’s necessary for her to be here, but I felt as though she were judging me the whole time. And it’s obvious she is in love with you. She sees me as competition for your affections, so she hates me.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Gemma? I’ve known her since I was a child.”
She just stared at him. “A woman knows these things.”
He grinned and put his arm around her, pressing her head against his shoulder. “Well, you needn’t worry. I only have eyes for you.”
She smiled, and he felt the movement of her mouth against his bare skin. A shiver went through him, and his arm tightened.
“Since my room lies between hers and yours, I don’t think she’ll hear us if we’re very quiet,” she whispered.
He knew she hadn’t meant her words to be suggestive, but since the moment her lips had brushed his skin, all he’d been able to think of was having more of that, more ofher, then he’d ever had before.
“I will speak to Gemma. I’ll make certain she understands things.” In truth, he didn’t know what he’d say to his distant cousin, especially if she really did have feelings for him. But somehow he had to make certain that he and Serenity could continue to spend time together, though he had to admit this sneaking around had a thrill of its own.
He lifted his hand and cupped Serenity’s face, tilting her head so that he could gaze into her eyes. “Do you trust me?” he breathed.
She nodded, but he could feel her skittishness; she was on the verge of flight. The passion between them scared her as much as it thrilled her, and he had to be careful not to push her too far or too fast.
“I want to touch you,” he said softly, moving his hand to toy with the top button of her very proper flannel nightgown. “I want you to touch me.”
Holding his gaze, she lifted a trembling hand to his chest, smoothing it across his heart, which she surely must feel jumping around in his chest. “You are beautiful. You feel so warm, so smooth.”
He muffled a groan against her shoulder, while his fingers fumbled with the buttons. Brushing his hand away, she unbuttoned half a dozen herself, then shrugged out of the top of her gown, leaving it pooled around her waist.
