He frowned. “I told you I’ll only be gone for a week or so.”
She looked away, her chin trembling. “I just know that the day you leave and don’t come back is coming soon. I’m trying to prepare myself.”
“What are you talking about? I just told you I never want to leave you.” An edge of irritation crept into his voice, even though he knew this was all his fault. He hadn’t yet told her that he wanted to make their relationship permanent. Of course, she was feeling insecure. But he wasn’t ready to have this conversation yet. He was only leaving for a few days, and there would be plenty of time to talk about the future when he got back.
“I know this can’t last,” she whispered. “I’ve always known that. And I want you to know that it’s all right. I’ve enjoyed every moment I’ve spent with you, and I would never try to make you stay.”
He frowned, wishing he could see her eyes. What was she trying to say? Did shewanthim to leave? For the first time, he wondered if she loved him as much as he loved her. Had he been alone in thinking that they belonged together?
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” This time, he didn’t even try to keep the frustration from his voice. He wanted to ease her fears, but he was suddenly terrified that if he told her how much he cared, he’d find out she didn’t feel the same.
She finally looked back up at him, her eyes welling with tears. “I don’t want anything from you, Luke. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
Her words washed over his heart like acid. He wanted to give her the world, but how could he, when she constantly told him she didn’t need him?
“Maybe I should just go back to my room and get some sleep,” he said stiffly.
She nodded jerkily, her eyes filled with tears. “I think that would be best.”
Ask me to stay.Pride stinging, he hesitated just a moment longer, then stood up, looking down at her, knowing that he’d done everything wrong tonight and promising himself that when he returned, he’d do better.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered, then went back to his room alone.
* * *
SERENITY STARED, WIDE-eyed, as a fancy coach bearing the Earl of Hawkesmere’s crest came lumbering slowly up the unkempt gravel drive that led to the cottage. Luke had gone to London to take care of some pressing business a few days ago, but he wasn’t supposed to return for another week.
She darted back into the house and checked her appearance in the hallway mirror, frowning as she tucked a few wayward strands of pale hair back into place. She still felt guilty for what had happened between them the night before he left. Even though he’d been sweet and tender when he’d kissed her goodbye the next morning, she hadn’t been able to banish the thought that something had changed irrevocably between them.
Biting her lip nervously, she pressed her hand to her stomach, wishing she hadn’t tried to tell him about her fears. Or maybe she should have tried harder. She was so worried and confused she didn’t knowwhatto do.
“Gemma,” she cried. “There’s someone coming up the drive.” Though she hoped that Luke was returning early, he’d always seemed to prefer riding his horse.
Gemma poked her head out of the parlor, her dark eyes wary, blinking with confusion. “What is the countess doing here?”
Serenity shook her head and bit her lip, suddenly having a bad feeling about this. Before they could discuss the matter further, a loud knock sounded at the door. Gemma moved around Serenity and opened it, revealing a handsome dark-haired footman in blue livery.
“Lady Winters would like to speak to Miss Pratt,” he announced, giving Serenity what could only be described as a sympathetic glance.
Serenity swallowed dryly. “Of course,’ she murmured, wondering why in the world Luke’s mother would want to speak with her or how she even knew about her. “Please, tell her she’s more than welcome.”
The footman nodded and retreated, returning moments later at the elbow of a lovely blonde woman who didn’t look nearly old enough to have a child of Luke’s age.
“Miss Pratt,” the countess said, as she entered the foyer and looked around haughtily. “May I have a moment of your time?”
“Yes,” Serenity said, giving Gemma a helpless glance. “Please, come into the parlor. Miss Cross will bring us some refreshments.” Being relegated to the role of servant would annoy Gemma, but there really wasn’t anything else she could do. She’d never entertained anyone other than Luke and Gemma and had no idea how to behave in the presence of a countess, especially the mother of her beloved Luke.
As expected, Gemma stomped off with a snippy look on her face. Serenity turned to face Lucien’s mother, the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach blooming to outright nausea when she noticed the woman glaring daggers at her stomach. Though she knew there was no way the countess could know that she was with child, it certainly seemed that she suspected it.
But that was impossible. No one knew. She hadn’t even told Luke yet, though that’s what she’d tried to do before he left. Had he guessed?
“Please,” she murmured. “Make yourself at home.”
The countess turned up her nose at the shabby sitting room and sat on the very edge of the nearest chair, her posture painfully erect. Serenity sat nervously across from her, glad for the distraction of Gemma returning from the kitchen with a tray laden with tea and biscuits.
Once the countess had been served, and Gemma had discretely left the room, Serenity tried once again to ascertain the purpose of her visit. “What may I do for you, my lady?”
The countess took a sip of her tea and then put the chipped porcelain cup down, staring at Serenity like a cat toying with a mouse. “It isn’t what you can do for me, young lady. It’s what I can do for you.”
