The guilt nearly overwhelmed him. He’d known the consequences Serenity could face because of his desire for her, but he’d always assumed he’d be there to take care of her if such a thing happened. In truth, he’d been so obsessed with her, he hadn’t given the future much thought, so hellbent on having that beautiful summer with her.
He should have looked harder for her. He should have torn the world apart until he’d found her. No wonder she’d left him in Dover. How could he ever expect her to want to be with someone who had failed her so completely?
* * *
SERENITY MADE THE BEDin the austere little room Gemma had provided her, feeling empty and numb. She’d cried herself to sleep last night but had woken this morning determined not to ever cry over Luke ever again. Her life had changed once again, and she must make the best of it.
Squaring her shoulders, she traipsed downstairs for breakfast.
“You slept late,” Gemma snapped when Serenity entered the drab little dining room. She was sipping a cup of tea and working on a crossword puzzle. “Browne has already cleared breakfast.”
Serenity blinked, then sat down across from Gemma. The clock on the mantle showed that it was just now seven. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you served breakfast so early. I will be on time tomorrow, I promise.” Her stomach growled, and she put a hand over it in embarrassment, hoping Gemma couldn’t hear.
“See that you are,” Gemma replied, not looking up from her puzzle. “You can’t expect me to create extra work for Browne just because you like to lay abed until noon.”
Serenity sighed, staring at the teapot. “May I have a cup of tea?”
Gemma nodded shortly, and for several minutes, Serenity busied herself with pouring the hot water over the tea leaves and adding two spoons of sugar. She hadn’t eaten yesterday at all, having traveled all day and not wanting to spend any of her meager savings. She actually felt weak with hunger, and the fact that Gemma had obviously decided not to feed her just because she hadn’t woken up at whatever insanely early hour she chose to take breakfast seemed quite unfair.
She had a sinking feeling that this would be just the first of many arbitrary rules Gemma would impose upon her.
Clearing her throat, she gestured to the section of the paper that Gemma was not using. “May I have a look at the classified section? I will try and find a new position quickly, so that I won’t have to impose on you for long.”
Gemma frowned and finally met her gaze. “I thought we discussed this last night. I told you I’d be quite pleased if you’d stay here, with me, as my companion.”
Serenity clenched her fists beneath the table. “That’s kind of you, Gemma. But I couldn’t possibly. I know money is tight for you.”
“Well, I won’t be paying you a wage,” Gemma said with a roll of her eyes. “Room and board should be sufficient, don’t you think?”
“Of course,” Serenity answered helplessly. The thought of being trapped in this small house with Gemma, totally dependent upon her for every little thing, having no money or control of her circumstances, made her feel even more weak and dizzy. The fact that Gemma expected her do so made her completely reexamine their friendship. Had Gemma felt this sort of bitterness and helplessness when she’d acted as Serenity’s companion? Had Serenity ever treated Gemma the way she was treating her now? She didn’t think so, but she’d been so enamored of Luke, so lost in him, she hardly remembered Gemma even being there.
She suddenly deeply regretted running away from Luke. Was living with Gemma any different than taking Luke’s offer of charity? At least if she’d gone back to the cottage, she’d have had some privacy and be able to decide what time she’d take her own breakfast.
She stared longingly at the newspaper and resolved to get her hands on it as soon as possible. Somehow, she would find herself another position. Though she owed Gemma a lot and was extremely grateful that she’d taken her in last night, she could already tell that life with her old companion was going to be unbearable.
Chapter Eleven
