The coach jolted forward, and she gripped the side with her hands, her knuckles turning white under the strain. Her poor delicate hands, which were chapped and rough from hard work. He hated to see that, would have given his entire fortune to have spared her the life she’d lived.
The old Serenity would have thrown her arms around him and sobbed with happiness at the fact that they’d found each other again, but this woman, of the chapped hands and damaged heart, wouldn’t even look at him.
“I don’t know what you mean by this,” she said at last when the silence between them became unbearable. “I don’t know why I agreed to come with you.”
“Because you want the truth as badly as I do,” he said quietly. “If I didn’t send you away, and you didn’t leave me, then what the hell happened?”
She stared at him, her pale cheeks flushing with hectic color. Was that anger or grief? “Your mother told me that you didn’t want me anymore. She said you’d arranged a place for me with the earl, and I should be thankful for it.”
His breath caught, and the truth suddenly became all too clear to him. “My mother sent you away?” The ice in his voice frightened even him.
She nodded abruptly, and the pain in her expressive green eyes cut into the heart of him.
He wanted to hit something, destroy the world, scream at the top of his lungs for all the time lost. He’d loved this woman, loved her so deeply and passionately it had fairly killed him when she’d disappeared with no word. And now, all these years later, to find out that it had been his mother who had come between them, his mother who had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him?
He should have known. The countess had been the cause of so much pain and misery in her sons’ lives. Of course, she wouldn’t have wanted him to be happy.
“I’m sorry,” he managed. “I had no idea. Surely, you realize that I would never have agreed to that if I’d known? Serenity... didn’t you know how much you meant to me?”
She merely shrugged, dropping her gaze. “Does it matter? So much time has passed now... It is good to see you, Lord Hawkesmere, but this doesn’t change anything.”
“Doesn’t it?” he asked incredulously. “Was I that easy for you to forget?”
“I knew there was no room for me in your life,” she said, changing the subject. “Perhaps what your mother did was actually a blessing for both of us. You would have asked me to be your mistress, and then you would have married someone else. That would have destroyed me, to watch you build a life with someone, have children with her, so I’m glad things ended with a minimum of fuss.”
A minimum of fuss?He thought of those dark days, when he’d thought her kidnapped or dead, the months spent searching, the slow acceptance that he was never going to find her. The grief... He shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around the words she was saying. How was it possible that she hadn’t known how much he cared? That she’d thought he’d dishonor her by asking her to be his mistress? All these years, and he’d never given his heart to anyone else because she still owned it completely.
“Why are you in such a panic to find Lady Allison?” she asked, once again trying to change the subject. “Winters frequently hosts her in his home.”
He bit down his frustration, wanting to force her to speak about their past but reluctantly realizing that her stubbornness had not changed. If anything, it seemed to have gotten worse. Perhaps she just needed a little time to accept that things were not as she’d thought them to be. That he’d never have hurt her purposely.
Running a hand through his hair, he made himself tear his gaze away from her, staring out the window instead. The events of the past two days crashed over him, and he found himself grateful to have regained his confidante. It had been difficult to be the one to stay strong, keeping his family from falling apart, and he badly needed to talk about the hell Roger had put them all through.
“You remember I told you about Prometheus?” he said at last. He and his younger brothers, the twins, Morgan and Adrian, had invented a masked vigilante when they were children, to deal with their stepfather and Roger’s abuse. He’d long ago told Serenity some of the events that had led up to that; she’d been the only one he’d ever trusted with that information.
“Of course,” she said softly. “When the newspapers started reporting about Prometheus, how he destroyed brothels and rescued the unfortunate children pressed into service there, I wondered if it was you.”
“Not me,” he said, shaking his head. “Adrian was the one who dusted off that cursed mask. My stepfather and Roger tormented him the worst. Morgan and I were away at school.... In any event, he’s been targeting Roger’s businesses for some time now. I should have put a stop to it, but he was doing so much good, and he needed something in his life. He’s been so alone.”
“I think he’s a hero,” she said, her voice ringing with sincerity.
“So do I,” he agreed. “But recently, Adrian met a rather wonderful woman named Vanessa. He married her, and Roger saw that as a weakness he could exploit. He hired some thugs to kidnap her, and the fools took Morgan’s wife, Anne, as well.”
He swallowed thickly, fighting a rush of anger and sadness. “They took the two women to a warehouse on the riverfront. They pushed Anne down the stairs, and she was more than eight months pregnant...” He closed his eyes, unable to continue.
“Oh, my god,” Serenity murmured, suddenly switching to his side of the coach, settling beside him and taking his hand. “What happened?”
The scent of lavender washed over him, shaking him to the core, reminding him of the first time they’d met, in the ruins of Hawkesmere House as children, when she’d offered him such comfort. “Vanessa somehow managed to deliver the baby, and she and the child are going to be all right. Adrian rescued them,” he said in a choked voice, inundated with the memory of Anne’s blood and Morgan’s grief. “Anne didn’t make it though. After the baby was born, Vanessa couldn’t stop Anne’s bleeding. Roger got away,” he finished darkly.
“And he took Lady Allison with him,” she said in dawning understanding. “He dotes upon the girl. You don’t think he’d really hurt her, do you?”
He reached into his pocket with his free hand and pulled out the letter his mother had brought him first thing this morning. He watched as she read the words already seared into his brain.
Stepmama,
Allison and I will be taking a little journey. Your sons have pushed me too far this time. It will be quite a while before I’m able to bring her home but don’t worry, I’ll keep her safe. Tell them that if they come after me, however, she might meet the same fate as Anne.
Roger
