Adrian cursed softly. “Why didn’t you tell him this the last time he was here?”
Gemma shook her head and gave Luke a pleading look. “I don’t know whether the child was a boy or a girl, my lord. I don’t know anything other than what I’ve told you.”
“You’re certain of that?” Luke asked, but the defeated look on her face made him realize she couldn’t tell him anything else.
“How is Serenity?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned. “I never wanted her to know about this, never wanted her to have to go through this pain.”
“Don’t you think she went through pain when it happened? When you told her that her baby was dead?” Adrian asked, his tone snapping with fury.
“That wasn’t my decision,” Gemma cried hotly. “I don’t know what you want from me. My very existence depended on your mother’s charity. I couldn’t do anything to anger her.”
Luke shoved his hand through his hair in frustration. “I wish you would have come to me. You knew how much I cared for her. I would have taken care of you both.”
“I didn’t know that!” she cried fervently, and Luke had the sense she’d told herself this lie many times in order to live with what she’d done. “She was a commoner. You’re an earl. I thought she was a summer fling for you. Nothing more. I didn’t think you wanted the child. I thought you were well aware of what your mother and stepbrother were doing.”
Her words made him realize how it had looked. Everyone had thought that Serenity was just his temporary lover, someone who didn’t matter to him at all. And that was his fault. He should have proposed. He should have made his intentions known. But he’d hesitated, uncertain, if he had to admit to it, fearful of what people would think, how they’d treat her, the gossip their relationship would spur.
He sighed and stood. “I’ll make a deposit in your account this afternoon. You don’t have to worry about my mother or Roger anymore. Just make sure that if you hear anything else, if either of them reaches out or you remember something, that you tell me.”
Her relief was visible, and he suddenly felt sorry for her. She was right. She’d had no real choice but to go along with his mother’s plans, not if she had any sense of self-preservation.
Serenity had been just as helpless.
“Gemma loved you,” Adrian said quietly as they returned to their coach. “I can’t help but think she participated in this because of some twisted idea that if Serenity and your child were out of the picture, she might somehow snare you for herself.”
Luke snorted, uncomfortable with the mere thought of Gemma’s affections. But Serenity had told him the same thing, right after Gemma had arrived at the cottage. “I should have sent her away,” he said, guilt and nausea churning in his gut. “If I’d only sent Gemma away, none of this would have happened.”
“You were only trying to save Serenity’s reputation,” Adrian reminded him.
“Yes, by making love to her right under Gemma’s nose.” Luke sighed and turned his gaze out the window. “I should have waited. I should never have put Serenity in that situation. I loved her enough to wait. But then she came to me one night, so gorgeous and sweet, and I... I couldn’t resist her. She was everything I’d ever wanted.”
Adrian gave a soft, sympathetic chuckle. “You’re just a man, Luke. I know you think you always have to be the one to do the right thing, to keep the rest of us in line, but you’re still just a man. You made a mistake, but you’re trying to make it right. That’s all you can do.”
After leaving Gemma’s house, Luke instructed his driver to go to his bank so he could make good on his promise to her. While there, he impulsively set up an account for Serenity as well. No matter what the future held, he wanted to ensure that she never felt helpless again. He wanted her to choose her future, but he sincerely hoped that her choice would include him.
* * *
WHEN ANOTHER INVITATIONfrom Vanessa arrived, Serenity did not know whether to be thrilled or shattered. As much as she loved spending time with Adrian’s wife, she did not know if she could bear to see Gabriel again. She’d spent another sleepless night, wondering whether she should tell Luke her suspicions. She still thought he already knew and just hadn’t figured out how to tell her.
This thought troubled her as well. Did that mean he’d decided to do nothing about it? That he would just let his brother and Vanessa keep their child?
Part of her wanted to go there right now, grab that beautiful boy, and run away with him. But she couldn’t do that to him. The poor boy obviously loved his new family, and she couldn’t wrench him away from a wealthy, loving home, where he’d have every opportunity, only to be on the run with him with no money and no way to support either of them.
She sighed and stared at her wan reflection in the mirror of her lavish bedroom. She’d never lived in such luxury, and it was so tempting to imagine staying here. Her pride had kept her from even considering a position as Luke’s mistress in the past, but if she could get past that, maybe she could find a little happiness. She would know that Gabriel was happy and healthy, and she might occasionally get to watch his life from afar.
That was probably the best she could ever hope for.
As she stood, she noticed a small pile of packages just inside her bedroom door. Biting her lip, she went and picked them up gingerly, carrying them to her bed. She hated that Luke kept showering her with gifts. She wanted to refuse them, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. The only two dresses she owned other than her uniforms from Lord Winters’ house were drab, to say the least. Definitely not something she could be comfortable wearing when accompanying an earl. If she wouldn’t have had so much else on her mind yesterday, she’d have been horribly embarrassed.
With a sigh, she found a beautiful day dress, this one in a deep, rich shade of purple that she instinctively knew would complement her skin. There were also a few lurid novels, which made her smile. The last package held a bank book.
She opened it to find her own name and a sum of ten thousand pounds. A note fluttered out and fell to the floor and she picked it up with a trembling hand.
Dearest Serenity,
I know your first instinct will be to reject this gift, but I beg you to reconsider. It kills me to think that when you needed me most, I wasn’t there for you. I hate that you were forced to work for Roger all these years, that because I took you to my bed without the safety of marriage that you endured so much pain and suffering. I know you felt helpless, and I don’t want you to ever feel that way again. I also don’t want you to depend on me or have to stay with me because you have nowhere else to go. I want you to have the luxury of choices, the security that only having money of your own can provide. Please don’t feel as though you don’t deserve this. You deserve so much, and I would give it all to you if I could. This money means little to me, but I know it will mean the world to you.
Love always,
