Clearing her throat, she struggled to compose herself. She couldn’t let him lead her down the path of those beautiful memories they’d shared. Those days were long gone, and she was no longer that starry-eyed girl. “All I need from you is a reference,” she told him, dropping her gaze. “Would you do that for me, Luke? Can you help me find another position?”
He took her hand and squeezed gently. “Serenity... You don’t have to go back into service. After we’ve sorted out this mess with Allison, I can take you back to Hawkesmere. I restored the old cottage. You can live there. Just take some time to figure out what you want.”
She closed her eyes, the thought of returning to Hawkesmere filling her with longing. She missed the woods and stream, the old cottage where she’d been raised. Living in London for all these years had killed her spirit. How often she’d longed for the trees, meadows, and streams. She couldn’t breathe in the smoke-filled polluted air.
“I don’t know,” she said, pulling her hand back. “It wouldn’t be right. What would people say?”
“People can go hang,” he snapped. “Damn it, Serenity! Please, let me do this for you. Let me dosomething.”
She understood his frustration. So many years lost. And to find out that it could have all been prevented... Would he have stood by her if his mother hadn’t interfered? Would he have been there when she’d needed him so badly?
All she’d lost that spring morning so long ago came back to her in a rush, and she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Sobs racked her body, and she wrapped her arms around her waist, leaning forward as she struggled to gain some semblance of control. She couldn’t do this in front of him, couldn’t let him see her weakness.
“Angel, please,” he muttered, pulling her into his arms though she resisted. “Don’t cry. I can’t bear it.”
His words just made her cry harder. He had no idea! He didn’t know what she’d been through. She’d been left alone to deal with the worst thing that could possibly happen to a woman. For so many years, she’d thought he’d done that on purpose, and somehow it seemed even worse that he hadn’t. That if not for his mother, he would have been with her, shared in her sorrow.
She didn’t know how long she sobbed against him. He just held her, whispering soft, loving words, stroking her back and hair, occasionally pressing his lips to her temple. For so long she’d been strong, kept the emotions at bay, pretended that none of it had happened. Crying in Luke’s arms was cathartic, and she realized she was finally grieving for all that had been taken from her.
At last, she pulled away, hiding her face in the crook of her arm, knowing she must look a fright. “I have to lie down,” she whispered hoarsely. “I’m so tired.”
Before she even knew what was happening, he had lifted her in his arms and laid her upon the padded bench across the aisle, wrapping her in a blanket that smelled faintly of cigar smoke and putting a soft pillow beneath her cheek.
“Sleep, my love,” he whispered. “But when you wake, we are going to talk.”
His words sounded vaguely ominous, and she knew she couldn’t keep what had happened from him forever. The piper must be paid. Not yet, though. For now, she could sleep, safe in the knowledge that the man she loved was watching over her once again.
* * *
LUCIEN STRETCHED OUTon the bench across from Serenity, trying to relax, even sleep perhaps. How could he though, given the tragedy and upheaval his world had gone through during the past few days? He worried about both his brothers and even little Allison, who was a bit too much like their mother and had never been his favorite person.
His mother... The thought of what she’d done to him still filled him with a murderous rage. He hadn’t even realized she’d known about his relationship with Serenity. He’d been so isolated that summer at Hawkesmere, having left the stress and fast pace of London far behind him. He had not been the earl. He’d simply been Luke. He’d spent his days rebuilding his inheritance, with Serenity by his side. She’d understood him,knownhim, in a way no one else ever had.
The countess had probably hated that. For the first time, he’d been out from under her control, and she’d doubtless sent someone to spy upon him. Then, once she’d found out that he was happy, truly happy, she’d no doubt felt threatened. Oh, he was sure she’d claim that she’d done it for his own good—a son of hers could never lower himself to wed a gamekeeper’s daughter—but he knew the truth. She had no love for him, only the need to bend him to her will.
He cracked one eye, gazing at Serenity, half-afraid that his exhausted brain had imagined it all. No, she was still there, sleeping peacefully beside him. He traced her features lovingly with his gaze, lingering at her puffy eyes, swollen from crying over nightmares and hardships he was afraid to discover.
Roger! All this time, she’d been with Roger. Given his stepbrother’s perverted tendencies, he couldn’t bear to think what might have happened to her when she had been pressed into service at Roger’s London house. He’d heard stories of the parties thrown there, the scum who frequented them.
Fresh fury cascaded through him. He’d never taken a life before, but he didn’t know how he would keep from doing so once he caught up with Roger.
As for his mother... He would speak to her once more, say all the things he’d kept bottled within him for so long, and then he’d remove her from his home. He’d buy her a remote country estate, far from London, where she could no longer interfere with him and his brothers, and then he’d never speak to her again.
He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his burning eyes. If Adrian could put the past behind him and manage to find happiness, then surely he could, too. Whatever had happened, he had to believe that somehow he and Serenity would be able to work through it. She’d been his best friend.
Reaching across the narrow aisle that separated them, he took her lax hand in his, peace and warmth traveling up his arm from that point of connection.
At last, sleep claimed him, and for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to remember...
