“It’s just after six.” A frown creased Clarice’s lovely face. “You look terrible. Are you truly ill, on top of everything else?”
Everything else.Last night’s events came rushing back, despite her best attempts to keep them at bay. Natalia buried her face in her hands and wished Clarice had let her sleep. Time to face the consequences of her actions, but she wasn’t ready. She’d rather turn back the clock and make different choices. How differently she’d behave, if given the chance.
“I’m not sick.” Natalia flinched inwardly at the sound of her own scratchy voice. “But my head is throbbing, and my eyes feel like boiled onions.”
“I’ve had that malady before. It comes from crying yourself to sleep.” Clarice sighed and sat down on the edge of Natalia’s bed with a rustle of lavender-scented skirts. “Why didn’t you tell me Dylan Blake was the man who’d caught your attention? I would never have invited him to the party last night, if I’d known.”
Natalia forced herself to sit up and brushed a limp curl of hair from her eyes. “Don’t blame yourself. I would have found a way to meet him, with or without your help.”
“Dylan Blake.” Clarice shook her head. “What were you thinking, darling?”
“Apparently, I wasn’t thinking at all.” Natalia looked away, unable to bear Clarice’s censure.
To her surprise, Clarice leaned forward and dropped her voice to a whisper. “He is one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen. Was it sheer bliss to kiss him? You must tell me everything.”
Clarice had done the right thing. She’d married for duty instead of love. She would never understand what Natalia had experienced in Dylan’s arms. Personally, Natalia wished she had remained ignorant. She’d learned the hard way that passion only led to a broken heart.
“It was wonderful.” She fought a new rush of tears. “He was so sweet, so tender. I love him, Clarice. I thought he really cared about me as well. How could I have been such a fool?”
Clarice gave her a fierce hug. “Falling in love isn’t foolish. I just wish you would have chosen someone worthy of you.”
“Someone like Sherbourne?” Natalia remembered how kind he’d been to her last night. He undoubtedly felt betrayed by both her and his brother, but he hadn’t offered one word of reproach.
Clarice drew away, her blue eyes filled with speculation. “Would you still consider a marriage to Sherbourne? He’s not to blame for what his brother did.”
Natalia shook her head, unwilling to entertain the thought even for a moment. “I don’t want to marry anyone. Not for a very long time.”
Clarice frowned. “I’m afraid time is something you no longer have.”
Natalia closed her eyes as she came to terms with the gravity of her situation. “Father wants me to marry Sherbourne?”
Clarice nodded. “The duke has made some inquiries, and he’s discovered the Earl of Warren is having serious financial problems. Michael Blake needs your dowry, and his reputation is above reproach.”
“Everyone needs my dowry.” Natalia gave a bitter laugh. “Just this once, I thought I’d found someone who needed me.”
“You could still marry Captain Blake, if that’s what you want.” Clarice watched her closely, as though trying to see into her very soul. “Now that he’s had a little time to think things through, I think your father would allow it. He wants you to be happy.”
Her father wanted her to be happy? Natalia felt guilty for all the angry thoughts she’d had about the duke in the past. But if he truly gave her a choice in the matter, after what had happened, how could she disappoint him?
Her heart urged her to pick Dylan, despite what he’d done, but she refused to be weak and foolish again. “All right. Tell my father I’ve agreed to marry Viscount Sherbourne.”
At least she didn’t have to worry that Michael Blake would break her heart. His brother had already beaten him to it.
Chapter Twelve
Whenever at home, the Duke of Clayton could be found in his library. He’d created a sanctuary out of the huge two-story room with its dark heavy furniture and thousands of leather-bound books. He rarely allowed anyone except the cleaning staff to intrude upon his privacy. Natalia knew it couldn’t be a good sign when he summoned her there late that afternoon.
Standing in the hallway outside the library door, she crumpled the note he’d sent her into a tight little ball. Realizing what she’d done, she tried to smooth it back out again then forced herself to take a deep breath and calm down.
It wasn’t easy. This would be the first time she’d faced her father since he’d escorted her to her bedchamber door last night.
She shouldn’t be so worried. No doubt he’d merely called her down here to inform her Sherbourne had agreed to divest her of her enormous dowry. And that was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Gathering every last shred of her courage, she tapped on the wide oak door.
“Come in,” the duke called.
She slipped into the room and found her father sitting behind his massive mahogany desk. A pensive frown creased his grim face as he motioned her toward the nearest chair. “Sit down, Natalia.”
She did as he asked, relieved to see no sign of Michael Blake. Michael would have to be dealt with, but she wasn’t ready to look into his warm blue eyes and see her own sins reflected back at her.
